Comeback
by Ceek
Summary: Set right after a destroy ending. Shepard has landed, but where?
1. Chapter 1

Shepard

Pain. It was the pain that woke me. I couldn't place what was hurting, where the pain was coming from. A groan escaped my lips, but I didn't hear it, could only feel the air flow over my cracked lips. The pain was coming from everywhere. I groaned again and tried to suck in a breath. The air was thin, barely filling my lungs. Something was wrong with my suit, it should be giving me all the air I needed right now, especially since I wasn't in a toxic area. Or was I? I slid my eyes open a little, then snapped them shut. Blinding light, didn't it know how bad my head hurt right now?

The lack of air was why I was weak, it had to be. My quick look at the outside world had revealed trees and a blue sky. Was I on earth? Didn't matter, inside the suit I would die for sure, hopefully the air outside wouldn't kill me.

I told my arm to lift, to reach up and pull off the helmet, but it didn't obey. Chills of pain went through my body where my brain was trying to send messages down the nerves. I tried again, this time more focused. My fingers twitched and I blew out a breath. Gritting my teeth, I forced my hand up and hit the quick release button on the right side of my head. No voice asking me to confirm. I punched the button again, this time holding it in. The clear shield over my face popped of, falling somewhere to my left. I sucked in a huge gulp of air, instantly regretting it. Pain shot through my lungs and dark spots danced in my vision. A moment later I succumbed.

Waking up this time took a bit longer. I floated in and out of understanding, spending a moment or two knowing exactly what was going on, and then back to darkness. I lost track of the times I passed out, finally able to remain conscious after the pain had settled some. I took a breath and nearly gagged. Smoke, sickeningly strong. Tired. I was so tired. Shock. That's what this was. I'd seen it plenty of times, but never had to go through it before, the good doc always ready with Medi-Gel. But what to do for it? Don't move, check. Laying down, check. Controlled any bleeding? I didn't feel anything dripping anywhere. I was going to say that was a check also. Prop up the legs. Wait. Legs. No pain there.

I concentrated, but nothing was telling me it hurt down there. I risked opening my eyes into a squint again. The sun had gone down quite a bit. Shoot. I tilted my head and got a good look at my legs. Still there. Twisted metal lay across my chest, pinning me down. I hadn't even felt it with the what was left of my armor saving me from being crushed. Well at least that was something. _Where was everyone else?_ Wow, I must be in worse shape than I'd thought at first if that thought hadn't come to me until now.

"Liara?" I croaked out, my voice barely working. "Joker? EDI?" EDI wouldn't be answering me. Why? How did I know that? Where was the Normandy? Was the crew laying broken around me? Had the Reapers done this? No. It couldn't have been the Reapers, they were… they were… something.

My eyes closed and memories fought each other trying to come to the forefront. Anderson, looking dead. Was he really dead? Garrus dragging a hurting Liara into the Normandy. Wait. Liara was hurt. Injured in the push to the beam. How badly had she been hit? Where was she now? My heart started to pound inside my chest, pushing me to ignore the pain as I'd done so many times before. I opened my eyes all the way, letting them focus for a moment before looking around. Trees. Jungle type trees. Not good. There was still way too much uncharted jungle on earth. If I was on earth. I gritted my teeth again and turned my head to get a better look around. Smoking debris littered the jungle floor, the remains of the citadel no doubt. The citadel was gone. The Reapers were gone. Was Liara gone? Garrus, Joker, Tali and Ashley gone? The rest of the crew? I swatted vainly at the rubble pinning me to the ground, but it didn't even shift.

After everything, the hundreds of times I'd been shot and stabbed, the fall from space, this was how I was going to die? Somehow that seemed anticlimactic, like I should have blown with the Citadel. It would definitely been better than lying here and wondering what had happened to my crew. Possibly wondering my way into eternity.


	2. Chapter 2

A noise woke me. Something knocking on metal. I opened my eyes, vaguely noticing it was starting to get dark. A figure moved a ways to my right. A human form, or maybe Asari. I squinted. Male, so not Asari. The failing light made it difficult to get a good look. I shoved at the metal holding me down, but it didn't budge. The guy's voice was muted, but he was definitely saying something toward the trees in a language I didn't understand. Not good. Why wasn't he speaking Universal? It had been the planet's language for two hundred years. If this was earth.

Another male figure stepped from the trees, followed my two more mostly naked men carrying spears. How could this be possible? Some places on earth were closed off by their governments, sure, but to this extent? This could not be good. I patted the ground around me, feeling for my pistol. It had to be here somewhere. I'd used it up on the Citadel just before it'd gone down. I hadn't had my armor on then. How had that happened? I fumbled around, feeling for it.

The men started combing through the debris, getting closer. I stopped searching, holding perfectly still. Part of me wanted to yell to them, beg for help, even if they couldn't understand me. The practical side of me kept bringing up the fact that I was trapped, one beat up and sore woman against four men. Probably not good odds, especially when they had spears and I didn't have anything.

Pushing at the metal pinning me down brought the same results as before. Though it did show me nothing was broken, all the pain must have just been from getting knocked around and my no doubt ungraceful landing. But my leg wasn't hurting where I'd been injured just before hitting the beam, that was something. In fact, my legs were the only things not hurting right now. A warning tried to come through my mind, but I shoved it back. I had things to deal with right now.

One of the natives was getting close. I didn't have a choice. They could kill me if they wanted to, it was better than dying of thirst.

"Hey," I said. My voice sounded strange. So quiet, and rough. Probably the lack of water.

On cue the group jumped back, spear tips jumping to the level of my face.

"Any chance you know where we are?" I asked, just in case they could speak Universal as well as whatever it was they'd been speaking. They started chattering to each other. Apparently not. Why were their voices so distant?

One of the men inched forward and poked at my chest with the tip of his spear.

"Watch it." I knew talking to him wouldn't do any good, but it made me feel better. "That armor probably isn't the strongest after hitting the atmosphere, I don't need you clowns making this junk fall through it." I coughed at the end, mouth going cottony. How long since I'd had a drink? How long since I'd fallen out of the sky?

The men gathered in a circle and had some kind of powwow. I drummed my fingers on the ground waiting for them to come to a decision. They argued for a few minutes, then headed my way. I tensed, waiting for a spear in the face. It didn't come. The first guy I'd noticed pushed the tip of his spear, which looked like it had been made out of salvage like what was littered around me, into the dirt and used it as leverage to move the trash on my chest. It shifted a little, but not much. Two of the three left joined him, the other just glowered in my direction.

With the combined weight of all three men, the metal slid from my chest. I took a deep breath, relishing the fact that my chest could fully expand.

The unhelpful guy pushed forward and poked my armor with his spear. The clunk it made sent them back into another discussion. That was okay, I was free now. I rolled my shoulders and sat up, slowly. The world tilted around me for a second, then eventually leveled.

My rescuers turned to watch me. I gave them a little reassuring wave and tried to pull my feet up under me. My legs didn't listen. Nausea flooded my body. Why wouldn't they move? They hadn't been injured worse than anything else, had they? I bent over, trying to make out any damage. The armor was perfectly intact. I took a deep calming breath. Something was bruised or something was damaged in the armor, holding me down. That had to be it. Had to be. Otherwise I was in bigger trouble than I'd even could have guessed.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Which is better, short chapters every day or a long one at the end of the week?**


	3. Chapter 3

Where were these guys taking me? They'd been dragging me along on a piece of sheet metal for at least an hour, if not more. Not an easy feat in the middle of all these trees. We bumped along, each tree root and stone causing me to shift, making my armor shriek against the sled, metal on metal and making me catch my breath and brace to keep from hitting the worst of the bruises hidden by the armor. The sun had sunk beyond the treeline some time ago, plunging the jungle into deep space darkness. Something hollered off to the left, making me flinch. As far as I could tell in the dark, the men didn't even notice. They were probably as used to the sounds here as I was accustomed to the sounds of the Normandy's engines. Background noise that made a place home.

The makeshift sled stopped bumping along. We were still moving, but the ground underneath must have been more level. A smell startled me with its intensity. Smoke. I could hear crackling now that I was paying attention, distant and muffled, like it was coming through water. The men's voices were audible when they spoke, but hard to hear. Was the problem with my ears or with the malfunctioning helmet? With the front removed, I should be able to hear even if the external mics were damaged. I sat up a little, tipping to the side to try to get a look ahead of us. A glow ahead. Fire. I dropped back to the sled, exhausted by my small attempt. Hopefully these guys weren't cannibals. Were there still any of those around? As of this afternoon I would never have thought that there were natives still around, let alone cannibals.

A moment of rest was enough. I leaned over to get a better look and nearly fell off the sled. A man, a normal looking guy, was standing over by the fire talking with a woman. There were huts behind them, and people. Lots of people.

I moved back. This was good. Had to be good, right? The guy was dressed in civvies, not the strange half naked style of the first citizens of this strange area I'd met. I hadn't realized how short my rescuers were until now. When one was sprawled on the ground, everyone looked tall. The new guy had to be a foot taller than the rest of the people around, and my guys headed straight for him. I craned my neck around, trying to get a better look. Nothing looked special about him. I wouldn't have looked twice if we were on the Citadel. Funny how surroundings changed things.

The man moved forward and talked with my guys, their voices barely reaching me. They could be speaking in Universal for all I could tell with my back turned. Funny how sight helped hearing and I'd never known it until my hearing wasn't what it should be.

A pair of dirty shoes appeared beside me.

"What hurts? The men say you are unable to move your legs." I tipped my head, reading his lips in the flickering light to make sure I was hearing him correctly. Not only did his voice sound like it was coming down a long tunnel, but now my ears were starting to ring. "Is the armor inhibiting you in some way?"

"Everything is hurting, how am I supposed to tell?" I growled. Sure, the man was being nice, but I wasn't used to strangers caring for me. I wouldn't even let Liara or Garrus see me when I was weak, let alone someone I didn't know from Adam.

"Let's get you inside and we'll see what we can do to fix that." The man turned and spoke to the people. Several jumped forward. One girl stopped close, hand out like she was supposed to be doing something but was afraid. I closed my eyes, trying not to make it worse. A second later I was in the air, several sets of hands supporting me. They moved me into one of their huts, and everyone but the man in charge and the girl stepped back. The man shooed them off and they left, reluctantly.

"I am Daemon." He leaned over me and hit the external release on the chest of my armor. This guy knew something about military grade armor, how? "What's your name?"

"Jane." Even though we were way out here in the jungle, I wasn't going to risk this guy recognizing me until I had a better idea what was going on. "I need you to get me to a city. Any city, I don't care."

A native popped into the hut. Daemon said something to the woman. She huffed and left. Daemon motioned the girl forward and they removed the chest piece of my armor, then moved to my extremities.

"City?" It was all I could get out, exhaustion was starting to take hold.

He turned back to me and sent me a small smile. "I don't think you quite understand the journey that would take. Rest. Once you are healed, we will talk about this." They pulled my boots off and I was left in my light clothes. I shivered, somehow cold even inside with a small fire burning nearby.

After a quick inspection, Daemon met my eyes. "Nothing life threatening. We'll see what else is wrong with you in the morning, when we have better light."

Another guy popped his head through the flap that served as a door, caught Daemon's look and went right back out.

"What's their problem?" I asked.

"You fell out of the sky with a monster and you're still alive. We've watched for some time as these monsters flew overhead, and now here you kill one and drop it to the earth. Your skin is made of the same skin the monster wore. All these things make them slightly afraid of you, even in this state."

They thought what was left of the citadel was a Reaper. "That scrap isn't a Reaper, just a city. Can you at least ask one of your goons to go and report to someone that I'm here? They'll send a squad to evac me as soon as they know I'm here, then you can be rid of me."

He patted me on the shoulder and stood. "You'll just have to wait until you're feeling better." He said something to the girl somewhere behind me, I'd almost forgotten she was there, and walked out, leaving me to fume with no one to yell at. It only lasted for a couple minutes before I fell into a deep, healing sleep.

A little extra tonight, I had a bit more time today. Hope everyone is enjoying!


	4. Chapter 4

Liara

"Joker, why aren't we in the air yet? You said sometime today."

"I'm trying, Liara," Joker answered from where he was bent over fiddling with some piece of the ship. "It's not that easy without EDI. Don't you think I want to get back to earth just as much as you do? I've known the Commander even longer than you have."

"Leave him alone, Liara." Garrus sounded as even toned as always. How could he not be as frantic as the rest of us? I knew he cared about her. "Joker wants the Normandy in the air as much as we do."

"We need to get back and find Miranda, maybe she can tell us what part of the ship being hit would cause EDI to go offline," Joker said.

_Maybe I have been too harsh, he is struggling with EDI being gone._ I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep the blurriness at bay. None of us had slept since… since Shepard had stopped the Reapers. A hand went to my side, to the spot where I'd been hit in the final push, the wound that had kept me from reaching the beam. Cruel, that I couldn't reach the Citadel with her, that I didn't know if she was hurt. Or even alive. Dr. Chakwas and some Medi-Gel had healed me fairly quickly. Was there someone there to help Shepard?

"Why isn't this working?" Joker said, and hit the panel he was working on with the tool in his hand. Something clacked inside and a green light popped on. "Ha! I told you, headed out later today!" Joker pushed himself off the wall and limped away at his equivalent to a run. Garrus and I exchanged a look and trailed after him. Hopefully he knew what he was talking about. None of us could take the not knowing much longer.

Liara

The trip back to earth was painstakingly slow. The Normandy limped along, well enough to fly but not well enough to move like she should be able to. Something was wrong with the artificial gravity, every hour or so it would become weak, sending the lighter members of the crew a couple feet off the ground before reengaging and dropping us to the floor.

None of us spoke. We all dreaded what we would find once we reached Earth. Many of the humans on board had family there, it wasn't only Shepard they may have lost.

_Are you hurting, Shepard? Are you gone? We lived without you once before, and it was horrible. Please be waiting for us._

"ETA, 8 minutes," Joker said over the comm, which seemed undamaged.

I stood, brushing the covers on my bed back into place, then started for the cockpit.

"Is there anything you require, Dr, T'Soni?" Glyph asked. Sometimes he seemed real, as if he could read what I was feeling. I hadn't made him that way, but the Geth hadn't started out that way either. He was still a VI, I was sure of it, but would that change?

"No, Glyph, but thank you."

"Just let me know if you think of something." He whirred away.

I rubbed the back of my neck and rolled my head, trying in vain to relieve some of the stiffness. I was not old enough to be feeling this way.

The crew watched me silently as I made my way to Joker. Traynor managed a small nod as I passed, but that was it. What would Shepard be doing with them right now? Probably sending everyone to rest and trying to man the ship by herself. _I am not the woman you are, Shepard. I can't do what you would._

Garrus and Ashley were already there with Joker. Garrus acknowledged me with a slight nod, similar to the one Traynor had sent my way, then went back to staring out the window. I followed his gaze and sucked in a breath.

Wreckage covered everything in front of us, bits and pieces of Reapers mixed in with parts of Alliance and ally ships, turning space into a graveyard.

"Hailing Earth, does anyone copy?" Joker had the voice that said he'd tried this a couple times without results. He looked back at Garrus. "What do you want me to do?"

"Try again and if nobody answers, we'll land without permission," Ashley said.

I looked at Garrus. He didn't seem to be bothered by Ashley taking charge, she was the highest ranking Alliance officer on board. That didn't matter much to me though, Garrus would make a much better leader until we found Shepard.

"This is the Normandy SR2, does anyone copy?"

A large chunk of ship moved in ahead of us. Joker jerked the ship to the left, nearly causing me to fall.

"Joker!" Ashley yelled.

"Hey, it's not easy piloting this thing with half the sensors fried, give me a break." He didn't go on about being the best pilot to ever live. He was hurting.

"Normandy?" A voice crackled through the speaker near Joker.

"That's Admiral Hackett." Ashley's excited announcement send a jolt of joy through me. If Hackett was still alive, there was a chance…

"Yes, this is the Normandy SR2, requesting permission to land."

"Permission granted, see me immediately upon arrival in London."

London. My stomach twisted and I leaned back against the bulkhead. I wouldn't mind never seeing that city again. Unless, of course, Shepard was there.

"Ask him about Shepard," Ashley ordered.

"Not over the radio, Williams," Garrus said. "Better to find out when we dock."

Better maybe, but not easier. I fidgeted with my sleeve, the not knowing enough to kill me.

Joker took the arrival slow. I tapped my foot impatiently. I couldn't say anything to him, it was better to arrive a few minutes later than I would want than to collide with a fragment of a Reaper and go down this close to Earth.

The Normandy moved through the last big section of debris and we got our first good look at Earth. It looked so peaceful from up here, the blue of the ocean swirled with the white of the clouds and green, grey and tan of the ground. From here it was impossible to guess what had just happened if one hadn't seen it occur. How long would it take the to rebuild? Longer than it would take us on Thessia.

A massive piece of something floated into view, blocking out the earth.

"A dreadnought?" Ashley asked.

Smaller ships surrounded it, battered but operational. They were pulling fragments of rubble away and it looked like they were starting on repairs. My stomach sank, the last bit of hope draining from my body. "No. The Citadel."

Hey Everyone,

Thanks for reading! I'd love comments so I know if I'm on the right track or not.

Thanks again!

Ceek


	5. Chapter 5

Liara

Hackett was waiting for us when the Normandy docked. If I'd taken a moment to think about it then, I would have felt bad for leaving Joker behind as he tried to get out of his chair, but that was the last thing on my mind at the time.

Garrus, Ashley and I waited at the door while the seals opened, the rest of the crew filling the aisle behind us. No use for landing checks right now. Why was it taking so long? It always felt long, but this time it was an eternity. Finally the door popped free and a rush of cold air flowed in, followed by the terrible stench of a destroyed city. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and then nearly ran. Hackett stood, hands behind his back at attention not far away. Humans were industrious, I'd give them that, they already had this area cleared of rubble.

The three of us rushed forward together. "Shepard?" we all asked at once. I looked sideways at Garrus, wondering about his feelings for Shepard. I'd never heard him voice anything, but we weren't the best of friends.

"Hackett's face went from tired joy at seeing us, to strained. "Gone."

"Gone?" Ashley whispered beside me. I stumbled a little, and Garrus put an arm out to support me. The end of hope.

Tears showed up in Hackett's eyes. "We couldn't even recover her body."

"No body?" Garrus asked. I half listened, glad there was someone else here to ask the questions. "She wasn't on the Citadel?"

"Close to half of the Citadel was gone by the time she got done with whatever it was she did up there. We've tried to land at each of the sites where debris made it to earth, but with the invasion, resources are limited at best. You know she wouldn't want us using our people to look for her body while there are civilians in need. There will be a memorial service later today. We were waiting until we had word of the Normandy, now that you are all back, it would be best to get it over with."

"A memorial without knowing that she is dead?" My voice sounded hollow. The others looked at me, pity on their faces. They'd accepted that she was gone. I would not say she was dead until I saw proof.

"It isn't just for her, it's for all the people we've lost. The human race needs this." Hackett waved two men forward. "These officers will see you to your quarters. Anything you want, you ask. We might not be able to get it, but we'll do our best. How long before you're ready to get the memorial finished?"

"Give the crew two hours to rest," Garrus said. "We haven't slept much since we arrived on Earth the last time."

Hackett nodded. "Two hours then. Wash up and rest. I'll send soldiers to accompany you to the memorial wall at that time." He turned and walked away, leaving us standing there. No body. No body was a good thing. _Shepard, hold on, I'm coming for you._

Joker finally limped his way up. "What did Hackett say? Where's the commander?" Garrus just shook his head.

"They haven't found her," Ashley answered.

"Haven't found her? Then what are we doing here?"

He was right. Shepard could be laying somewhere, hurt, with no one to care for her. "Let's take the Normandy back up. Maybe we'll see something the Alliance has missed."

"You'll never be able to get the Normandy out of here without Hackett's permission, and you aren't getting that until we attend his memorial," Ashley said. She reached out and squeezed my shoulder, very un-Ashley like. "Give it up. She's gone."

No. I would not believe that.

"We could all use the rest, Liara," Garrus said. "The memorial will only take a few minutes. Go to that with us and then we'll see what we can do about a search."

One of the soldiers Hackett had waved over stepped forward from where they had been waiting at a respectful distance. "We're ready to show you to your rooms whenever you would like to head that way."

"I'll stay here," Joker's voice sounded watery. He was going to go back into the Normandy and cry. I felt my body droop. I was going to go to this new room and cry. What did it matter where we did it, we were all going to give in. This new evidence that the chances of finding Shepard alive were even slimmer than we could have hoped was just too damaging.

"Alright," Garrus answered him. "The rest of you, let's go."

The soldiers loaded us into waiting transport vehicles. I sat and put my face in my hands, desperately fighting the tears that wanted to fall. Not here, not in front of everyone. The journey to our accommodations seemed to take forever. We were herded into a mostly intact building that had a sign outside with nightly rates. The crew was split up into rooms, the lower ranking soldiers sharing, those of us close to Shepard with our own. Hackett knew us well.

I waited numbly for direction, watching as Ashley, Tali and Dr. Chakwas were given rooms. The Doctor squeezed my hand on her way past, she may have said something but I couldn't focus enough to hear her.

"Doctor T'Soni," one of the men showing us around said. "Doctor T'Soni?" He pushed open a door with the number 112 pasted on the front. "This is your room."

"Thank you," I managed. He nodded and started toward the next door.

Garrus stopped by the open door and looked like he was about to say something, but I brushed by him without giving him the chance. I needed this time to get myself back together, not to let him make it worse. I swung the door closed behind me, headed to the bed and collapsed on top of the covers, the tears finally flowing free.


	6. Chapter 6

Liara

Something was beeping. I swiped at my arm, trying to get whatever it was to stop. My Omni-Tool. An hour and a half gone already? I swiped at my face trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I made my way to the small bathroom I'd passed in my flight to the bed earlier and washed my face. The Asari in the mirror looked nothing like me. Or the me I had been, anyway. All confidence, gone. Put there my Shepard's trust in me, it had fled when we hit the relay and left her behind on the Citadel to face the whole fleet of Reapers alone. All joy, gone. Alone. We had left her there, alone.

A light knock on the door ripped me from my dark thoughts. I would have welcomed it if the person on the other side wasn't here to escort me to Shepard's memorial service.

I opened the door and was faintly surprised that most of the crew was already milling about in the hallway. No doubt they wanted to get this over with.

Garrus sidled closer to me, worry in his eyes. I did nothing to try to make him feel better, there was nothing I could do.

The crew was quiet, the mood grim as we moved into transports. The door opened to one of the vehicles and I slid into the seat next to Joker. They must have stopped and picked him up at the Normandy. He waited until the door was closed and the transport had lurched forward, then leaned in close to me.

"I was able to hack into a satellite." He paused when Tali looked or way, waited until she lost interest and then started up again. "I have its feeds running right now, by the time we get this finished, all of the spots on earth where debris hit will be in a list waiting on the Normandy, starting with largest amount to smallest, with the ones the Alliance has checked crossed off. We're going to find her, Liara."

I nodded to let him now I'd heard him, but I couldn't get myself to feel much at his announcement. We would look, but I wouldn't let myself hope too much until we found evidence one way or the other. Too much time was passing, even if she had survived the plummet to Earth, she wouldn't be alive much longer. If her body was even on Earth, and not floating somewhere in space.

"What about EDI? We need to find out what happened to her as well."

A muscle jumped in Joker's jaw. "We will. But there's no time frame with her. We need to find the Commander first."

Such a choice for him. The to try to find the woman who he had followed for years, or try to bring back the woman he loved. But he was right. We had all of EDI's backups, there had to be way. It would just take time. Once we found Shepard, we would find a way.

An agonizing amount of time later, the transport shuddered to a stop. It was amazing this thing even started, let alone moved. If this was the best of what the Alliance had left, it was no surprise they weren't able to go looking for Shepard.

Hackett was waiting for us, along with soldiers of all ranks. They saluted as we passed by. Thankfully, the numbers dwindled as we moved inside the small building ahead. I looked around with vague interest. What had this place been before the war? Before it was turned into a place that reminded everyone of death, of sacrifice? It was impossible to tell now.

We reached a room where Hackett paused. Miranda was there. Not really a surprise, considering all Shepard had done for her. The rest of the crew held back, giving those of us closest to Shepard some space. Hackett started in on some speech, but I didn't listen. All I could see was the wall ahead of me, the wall full of names. Mordin. Anderson. Better that Shepard didn't have to know about that, they were close. But maybe she did know. Maybe they were together right now.

Something bumped my hand and I looked up. Hackett was pushing a plaque at me. I took it slowly and ran a finger over the name there. Just Commander Shepard. Nothing about what she done, who she was. It wasn't enough. I felt a hand on my back and jerked. Miranda. She nodded toward the wall.

I lifted the plaque with her name on it, shifting forward to reach for the spot I was supposed to place it, right under Anderson's. I couldn't do it. Shepard had come back from the dead once before, she would do it again. I stepped back, shaking my head.

Ashley squeezed my shoulder and took the plaque from my hands, hung it on the wall and bowed her head.

I met Joker's eyes. He lifted an eyebrow, as if asking me if I was ready. I nodded. We were going to find her.

Shepard

So this was what normal healing was like. Long. And boring. Who from this century knew except for these crazy jungle people. My wounds weren't even that extensive. After a ten minute exam in the light, Daemon has pronounced me fine except for some internal bruising that should take care of itself after a couple weeks of bed rest. A couple weeks? The man was crazy. And he obviously didn't know what he was doing, he hadn't been able to tell me anything about my legs. No obvious trauma, so why weren't they working?

That had been days ago, maybe a week, and he still wouldn't answer my questions about getting to a city. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. I needed to start staying awake longer, to start exercising at least the upper part of my body, show him how much my condition had improved. I had to get back, had to find out about Liara, about the Normandy, about the Geth and EDI. Hopefully the Catalyst had been lying. He, it, whatever, had to be lying. The Geth were fine, EDI and Joker were in the cockpit of the Normandy, arguing about something. That was what was happening, it had to be.

And as soon as I got out of this place and made sure of it, I could figure out what came next.

A native ran by, followed by another. They were looking at the sky and yelling something to each other. I followed their gazes. It couldn't be. I bit my lip to make sure I was awake. The Normandy. Speeding over the jungle toward the crash site. My hearing still wasn't back to one hundred percent, might not ever be, I had missed the sound of its engines. I waved my arms in the air, shouting even though they would never be able to hear me.

It passed by overhead, setting down so close, and yet so far away.

Liara

"What number is this?" I asked Joker, knowing but needing to confirm.

"Twenty-six," he indulged me.

"Out of fifty-two likely landing spots," Garrus finished. He still didn't seem to think all this searching was necessary, but he was doing it anyway. For me. For Joker. For Shepard.

I looked out over the carnage scaring the jungle floor and gripped the seat in front of me tighter. How long would I make the crew go through with this hopeless mission? How could anyone survive this, even if she had made it through the atmosphere? But I had to know. Even if she was gone, I had to know.

Those of us that would be making the search moved to put our armor on. It wouldn't do to have someone injured in this mess while attempting a rescue mission. The door opened and we moved out, some of the crew moving to do the initial quick sweep, the more technical of the crew pulling out equipment to do scans, Tali among them.

We started out together, then moved away from each other in ever widening circles, each of us falling into the pattern we'd perfected after the last twenty-five crash sites.

The sounds of animals calling in the trees registered in the back of my mind as I moved farther from the main body of debris. Earth had strange creatures. The howling was no doubt from what were called monkeys, a peculiar name for a peculiar species.

The ground here was charred, the trees broken from the pressure of the fallen chunks of Citadel, whether they had been hit or were out of the direct line of fire. And that's how it was when a monument fell, everything around it was injured, directly in its course or not.

People started wandering back toward the Normandy, the visual sweep over. I would follow precedent and be the last back to the ramp, getting out of the way of the scanners. I started back to the Normandy, grief squeezing my heart, nearly crushing it. If we didn't find anything at this site by now, it was likely the scanners wouldn't be able to find anything either.

A glint, something reflecting in the sun. What made me notice it, a small piece of metal in the face of all the twisted pieces around me? I don't know, but I did. I moved to it and stooped down, sliding the chain between my fingers. Dogtags. One word made it past my lips. "Shepard."


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard

"Tyana!" I bellowed. "Tyana, come here!" I wasn't pronouncing her name right, probably never would, but I didn't care. Where had my caretaker snuck off to? My legs not working had been bugging me, but hadn't gotten me to this point of full out anger until now. What was wrong with me? "Tyana!"

"Shepard?" She asked in her thick accent, slightly out of breath. The only word I could actually understand her saying even though we'd been trying to teach each other our languages over the last couple days. Better than being bored to death.

"Daemon," I said, and made shooing motions with my hands, trying to convey the fact that she needed to hurry.

"Vroom?" she asked, making engine noises and pointing off toward where the Normandy had set down.

I nodded vigorously and shooed her away again. She finally took the hint and tore away at a run. I tapped the ground impatiently, the rough blanket I'd been laid on bunching under my body as I wiggled around to watch for Daemon. He couldn't tell me no now, not when they were so close. Only an hour or so from the crash site to here in the dark, how long would it take during the day?

And if he went without me, explained the situation to whoever had stepped up as captain, probably Garrus, it wouldn't take long at all. The men had to drag me along last time, surely Daemon on his own could get there within thirty minutes. Sudden fear nearly stole my breath. What if that wasn't long enough? What if the Normandy took off before he got there? "Daemon," I hollered. It didn't matter if it didn't do any good, I had to do something.

Maybe if the Normandy found me, I could make up for what I'd done to the Geth, to EDI. I'd fix what I'd screwed up, then be at peace, whatever that meant. I wouldn't be much good to anyone as a cripple, but if I could at least find Miranda and explain things to her, maybe, just maybe she would be able to come up with some way to fix things. Then I could stop feeling like a cold hearted murderer. How was I going to look Joker in the face?

Tyana moved around one of the huts, pulling Daemon along behind her. Bless the girl. It took forever, but finally they were within speaking range.

"That's a rescue ship, here for me." I didn't give him a chance to say anything. "Please, meet them at the crash site and tell them I'm here." I'd automatically fallen into my commander tone, the guy was lucky he got a please. But he had to want to be rid of me, right?

"I'm sorry, but I really am busy right now. You will just have to wait until you have fully recovered before you are able to return to wherever it is you call home. I just can't undertake a trip like that at this time."

I ground my teeth, doing my best to keep from screaming at him. "Don't you want me out of your hair?"

"Oh, you're no bother, don't think like that." The words were barely out of his mouth before he started to walk away.

"Daemon, please, I'll give you anything you want!" He didn't even pause.

Tears of rage welled up. I was going to kill that man if I ever had the chance. He still hadn't told me what he was doing down here with these people, and I was beginning to think it was something bad the way he was keeping me from finding a way out of this place. I swiped at my face, not willing to let Tyana see my tears.

My native friend patted my hand, looking terribly sad. What did she have to be sad about? Losing the chance to get rid of the adult she had to babysit? She patted my hand again and I looked at her. She met my eyes and cocked her head. "Vatchua?" she asked.

"I have no idea what that's supposed to mean," I muttered.

The young girl patted my hand again, then took off for the trees. "Where are you going?" I yelled after her. She waved over her shoulder and disappeared into the underbrush. I shot a brief prayer at the sky, hoping it hit someone up there. _Please let her be going to the Normandy. And please let her make it in time._

Liara

"They could have fallen without her, Liara. We don't know that this means Shepard was here."

"She was here." There was no explanation why I could say that with such confidence, the scientist part of me squirmed in discomfort at making such a proclamation without any evidence, but the rest of me knew I was right.

Garrus sighed. "I just don't want you getting hurt.

I squatted down to where the dogtags had been laying. "The debris here has been moved. Look." Garrus leaned down to get a better look at where I was pointing. Someone had used a stick of some kind as leverage, the deep ruts in the ground showed at least three different poles had been placed, with enough pressure exerted to move a large piece of twisted metal. I winced. _Here's hoping you weren't under that, Shepard._

"We are getting strong reading of human presence," Tali called from over at her pile of tech. An omni-tool probably could have told us that much.

"And?" Garrus asked.

"It moves into the jungle, nearly a week old."

Garrus straightened. "Into the jungle it is then."

"Just you and me?" I asked.

"Not happening," Ashley said from over by Tali. "We don't know what's in there, I'm going with you."

I sighed. "We've defeated thresher maws on foot, I think we will be able to handle whatever Earth has to throw against us."

"But that was with Shepard," Ashley answered. "Entirely different."

True. But we had all changed since knowing her. Garrus and I would be fine alone, but who was I to tell Ashley she couldn't come? She'd known Shepard even longer than I had. I gave her a small nod.

"And of course you'll be needing me," Tali said, her voice sounding strange in this setting. "I have the equipment to follow her trail."

"It can't be that hard to run, let me see it." Garrus reached for the thing Tali had been fiddling with since we'd landed. She jerked it back out of reach.

"No. I am going."

"Anyone else feel like a hike through the jungle?" Ashley yelled.

More than half the crew yelled back in affirmative.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked. "A few of us together stand a much better chance of avoiding detection if there is something out there we don't wish to tangle with."

"I'm sure. Shepard would kill me if something happened to you while we were looking for her. Kill me in this life if she's still here, or kill me in the next if she's not, I'm not sure which would be worse."

I allowed a small smile. It was true. Even if I got myself killed without anyone's help, Shepard would be after the others, who she would say should have known better than to let me put myself in danger.

"I'll be going too," Dr. Chakwas said. Where had she come from? I hadn't noticed her searching with us. Had the news spread to the Normandy already? "She may be injured when we find her, if so, she will be needing me."

When we find her. I could have kissed the woman. She'd said when.

"Anyone who doesn't feel like traipsing around in this heat, head back and guard the Normandy."

Several of the crew members filed away, but most stayed.

"Let's get moving then, no time to waste." Garrus was almost sounding hopeful.

_Please, Shepard, be fine. I need you._

Forty minutes passed and we still hadn't found anything. Every once in awhile Tali would stop us and play with the machine she carried, then set off into the foliage again.

"I hope she'll be able to get us back to the Normandy," Ashley muttered. "Not sure I trust any of our equipment right now, with all the crazy stuff that's happened in the last week. How many satellites could have survived that mess? And the Normandy took a hit too, so what if that messes with our signal? We better not get lost out here."

I nodded to let her know I'd heard, but she didn't seem to notice. She must have been speaking to herself, something it seemed most humans did. I glanced behind to check on Dr. Chakwas. Sometimes I forgot that she was getting on in years for a human, and I was a little worried.

Something rustled in the underbrush. All of us swung in that direction, various weapons aimed toward the foliage.

A small, deeply tanned woman moved slowly into view, so quietly that it made me believe she'd made the noise on purpose. Smart girl, not wanting to scare us. How long had she been watching? Ashley stepped forward.

"Hello, can we help you?"

The girl focused on Ashley's face, her gaze not wavering. "Shepard?" she asked.

Shepard. She knew to say Shepard. I sucked in a breath, nearly dropping my pistol. "Where, where is Shepard?"

The girl looked at me, her eyes went wide, her breath stopped. She looked to Ashley, then back to me. I held up my hands, showing her I wasn't going to hurt her. Had she never seen an asari before? Maybe she hadn't been watching us. "Shepard?" I asked.

"What's going on?" Garrus asked. He stepped out around a couple of the crew members.

The girl saw him and all the blood drained from her face instantly. She gave a little whimper and fainted.

"Now you've done it, Garrus," Tali said. She followed me over to the girl. Omni-tool reading showed she was stable, probably just terrified. Lucky she couldn't see Tali's face or she might have been even more frightened with the three of us being aliens. If Tali's face was frightening, now that I thought about it that didn't seem possible.

"We have to wake her somehow, she knows something." Waiting would kill me, I was sure of it. Shepard. She said Shepard.

"Let me through." Dr. Chakwas shoved her way through the crowd to us. She checked over the girl quickly, then pulled an auto injector from the box she'd been lugging along and pressed it into the girl's thigh. A second later she was gasping for air, her terrified eyes wide.

"It's okay," Dr. Chakwas said. "We won't harm you."

I wanted to shake the calmness right out of her. "You said Shepard. How do you know that name?"

The girl looked confused. I tapped my omni-tool to see if the translator was on. It was.

"Can you understand me?"

"Yes," she said. "How? What are you?" She clamped a hand over her mouth like the comment had slipped without her thinking and cowered away.

"Just tell us about Shepard," Ashley forced her way into the conversation.

"Shepard is at my village. She is healing there. She sent me to find you."

"Healing? What's wrong with her?" How badly was she injured? Out here with no medical care. _I'm so sorry it's taken us this long to find you, but we will be together soon. Please be okay._

The girl shrugged, starting to look dazed.

"How far?" Tali asked. The native's gaze swung toward Tali's slightly strange voice.

"Not far…" she said something else that the translator didn't seem to recognize. She must have seen the looks on our faces. "Very close. Come." She hopped to her feet and jumped forward into a jog, glancing behind her to see if we were following.

_Shepard, we are coming. We are almost there. Please don't be hurt too bad. What am I saying? Just thank you for being alive!_

**Thanks to everyone for reading, I appreciate it **


	8. Chapter 8

Shepard

I watched intently from inside one of the huts as a native tore into the village, yelling something to the others. They all ran to meet him, then split up, heading out in different directions. This was it. It had to be. Tyana had found the crew. Men started popping back out of their huts, spears in hand. Okay, that wasn't good. If they attacked anyone from my squad, it could easily turn into a massacre.

Apparently the warrior that had warned everyone hadn't been very far ahead of the crew. Tyana came out of the trees a second later. She walked over to the growing group of men and started explaining things to them.

This was it. This was really it. They'd found me. Now for us to get back and find out what was wrong with me, so I could get started fixing all the things I'd screwed up. Tyana gestured toward the treeline and a blue skinned beauty stepped out.

Liara! My first reaction was a simple gut reaction, absolute, indescribable joy. I'd nearly lost my mind when she went down on the push to the beam, but I hadn't had time to dwell on it then, and I hadn't let myself think about it over the last week. Here she was, looking fine. I almost called out to her, then froze. Did I want her to see me like this? What alternatives were there? Only living here until I died of boredom. I would have to see her. Joy swelled up in my chest. I shoved it down. I'd see her, but I wasn't going to lead her on. Things wouldn't be the same, couldn't be the same until Dr. Chakwas found out what was wrong with me. Was the doc here?

There, on the other side of Garrus. Was the entire crew here? Nearly everyone I could think of other than Joker and EDI. EDI. It was good Joker wasn't here, I couldn't face him, not yet.

Tyana asked one of the men a question and he nodded toward the hut I'd come to call mine. Looked like I wasn't going to have a choice after all. I pulled myself back away from the door and leaned up against the far wall. Hopefully this thatch was strong enough to hold me, it wouldn't do for the commander to go pitching through her hut. If I was still a commander, with my injury, not likely. But Chakwas could fix it, she was the best.

I smoothed my shirt and brushed dust from my pants. Not that it helped much, after a week laying around out here. But that was okay. The crew had seen me looking worse.

Liara

The girl pointed at a hut. "She's there." The words weren't fully out of her mouth before I was sprinting in that direction. I barely registered that Garrus and Ashley were right behind me.

I jumped at the flap of animal hide covering the door. Ashley grabbed my shoulder and wouldn't let me move. "Are we sure this isn't a trap?" I shrugged her hand off.

"She knew to use Shepard's name. It can't be." I pulled away from her and slipped inside. It was shady in here, much better than the terrible sun outside. I blinked, willing my eyes to adjust faster.

"There, someone was leaning against the far wall. I took a small step forward. "Shepard?"

"About time you got here."

It was her. I froze, unable to force myself forward. It was her. She was here. But her voice, that tone? Why hadn't she come out to meet us? I moved forward, giving Garrus and Ashley room to move in.

"Skipper!" Ashley said, rushing forward.

I snapped out of my thoughts and followed her, dropping down beside Shepard. "Are you injured?" I asked. "The girl that came for us seemed to think you had something wrong." She looked okay. Better than okay. Better than I could have even dreamed. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly in mine. She wouldn't look at me.

"I'm fine."

Why was she acting so cold? My joy slowly evaporated. Was she angry we had left her on the Citadel? That would be so unlike her, she always worried about the rest of us first, the galaxy second and herself last, behind everything else. I wasn't going to allow her quiet to ruin this moment. I pulled her into a tight hug. She resisted for a moment, then leaned into it, squeezing me before letting go and pushing away.

What was wrong? Wasn't she happy to see us? For a moment, when my eyes first adjusted to the light, she'd looked so happy, beyond happy. And now she was being so distant.

"About time you guys got here," she repeated, sounding so normal, like we hadn't all thought she'd been dead for the past week.

"How's the rest of the crew?"

"Everyone is well, Shepard," Garrus said from the doorway. She nods toward him and gives him a small smile. That was more than she'd given me since I'd come in. I moved away from her and her hand twitched, like it tried to follow me but she wouldn't allow it.

"How is EDI?" she asks. Something is wrong with her voice.

"EDI… EDI didn't make it," Ashley said.

"Move, move," the doctor's voice, back in the doorway. She shoved Garrus out of the way and barreled toward Shepard, barely giving Ashley a chance to move enough for her to squeeze in beside her. She pulled Shepard into a hug, then went into business mode. "Report?" she said, tapping something on her omni-tool.

Shepard looked at her, then looked to me, finally meeting my eyes. I smiled, trying to show her how worried I'd been through our meld. She dropped her gaze back to the doctor, but didn't say anything. I can't feel anything coming from her at all.

Worry started to build inside me. I did my best to squash it, but couldn't keep it from growing slowly. What wasn't she telling us?

Doctor Chakwas must have read something in her face. She looked over her shoulder at us. "Out. All of you."

Ashley tried to protest, but it didn't work. The doctor stood and practically pushed her and Garrus out of the hut. Good. Now we could get to why Shepard was acting so strangely.

"I'm sorry, Liara, you too," Doctor Chakwas said.

What? She couldn't be serious. Everyone knew what Shepard and I were. I looked to Shepard, waiting for her to intervene, but she didn't say anything. Didn't even glance up. Panic sped my heart to an unsafe rate. What had I done to make her change how she felt about me? How could I fix it if I didn't know?

Shepard

I spared a quick glance up at Liara. She had a stricken look on her face, like I had just torn her heart out. I nearly relented, but stopped myself. Not until I knew what was wrong with me. Not until I had told her about the Geth and EDI. She would hate me then, hate me like I hated myself. The doctor would get me fixed up, I would find Miranda and fix my mistake, then I would be able to think about Liara again.

Liara silently moved away from me and headed for the door. Everything inside me tried to scream after her, beg her to stay, but I couldn't let myself be that weak.

"What's wrong, Commander?" Chakwas. Her kind tone brings me back, making me want to spill everything to her. Not now, not yet.

"My legs don't seem to be cooperating."

The doctor started in on a more detailed exam. "For how long?"

"Since I woke up."

Her gaze drifted up from the omni-tool, but she didn't ask. One of the many things I've always appreciated about her, she knows when to push and when not to.

After several minutes she settled back. This isn't going to be good news, I can see it on her face.

"I'm sorry, commander, I can't find anything wrong. I'll be able to do a better exam once we reach the Normandy, but the only things I can find right now are some bruised ribs and scarring on your eardrums. How did you survive a fall like that with so little damage?"

"Good armor, I guess."

She cocks her head and raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. "I'm sorry, but the crew is going to have to know that you are injured. The only way we'll be able to get you back to the Normandy is to carry you. Or we could radio into Alliance Command and have them send a shuttle small enough to land in this clearing, but there is no way we will be able to set the Normandy down here."

I close my eyes, blocking her voice for a second. She didn't know what was wrong. Couldn't find anything. Her line about finding something back on the Normandy was just that, a line. She wasn't going to be able to help me. It was going to be bad enough, the Normandy finding out how useless I was now, I wasn't ready for the whole galaxy to know.

"Just get the crew." They would find out eventually anyway, even if I did take the shuttle option. There was no way to hide it from them.

Chakwas nodded and stood. She reached down to pat me on the shoulder, then headed for the great outdoors. _Hang on, EDI. I'm going to fix this._

_Authors note_

_I jumped around a lot more in this chapter, between Liara and Shepard. I always like to know what people are thinking, but if you find it annoying send me a PM and I'll try to keep the head hopping under better control lol_


	9. Chapter 9

_Yay for snow today! I got some extra writing done! This chapter was an experiment with a little different style, trying out a new tense. Kind of interesting. If there is anything you'd like to see in the story, let me know by PM or review!_

Liara

Pacing was just as effective on Earth as it was aboard the Normandy. Not at all. What was taking the doctor so long? What could be wrong with Shepard that she wouldn't let any of us stay?

Ashley sent me a look full of pity, and Tali came to stand by me. She hadn't gotten to see Shepard yet. I almost wished I hadn't. No, not true. She was alive. Anything else could be fixed, worked around at the very least.

The flap to the small, strange house opened. The doctor didn't take one step outside before she was rushed by those of us closest to Shepard.

"What did she want?" Ashley demanded.

"Is Shepard alright?" Tali asked.

"What do we need to do?" That came from Garrus.

The doctor's shoulders slumped, as if she'd been holding herself together for Shepard and now that she was out of sight, she could let her emotions show. "She's paralyzed. From the waist down."

A murmur went up through the crew. Our commander, paralyzed? No wonder she didn't want us there. _Oh, Shepard, as if that could make us love you any less. _I didn't care, of course I didn't, except for how this would affect her. She was so strong, so independent, would she allow us to take care for her? Was she hurting right now? Paralysis would numb her legs, but the injury wouldn't be in her legs. I moved to go to her, but Doctor Chakwas shook her head.

"What happened?" Tali asked eventually.

"I'm not sure yet." The doctor reached up and rubbed her eyes. "Hopefully I'll know more once we get her back to the Normandy. Garrus, can you find a way to get her to the ship?"

Garrus nodded, looking a little dazed. Ashley wore the same expression. No doubt my face was a blue reflection of hers. Tali was lucky to be have a shield to hide her feelings.

"I want to be with her," I informed the doctor, putting all the confidence I had into my voice. The doctor thought for a moment, then nodded wearily, somehow seeming older than when we had left the Normandy this morning, even after finding Shepard alive. But then, she was probably feeling a lot of pressure from Shepard right now, whether Shepard meant to put it on her or not.

I moved into the little house and stepped about half way into the middle.

"Liara," she said, and I nearly sobbed at the sound of her voice, the voice I'd thought I'd never hear again. She cocked her head, finally meeting my eyes. "Chakwas told you." It was more of a statement than a question. These walls probably didn't block much sound. I nodded.

She sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. I wanted to rush to her, but something about her earlier reaction stopped me. No. I wasn't going to let fear keep us apart, hers or mine. I walked over and sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine.

"Does… anything hurt?" I ask. Start with that, maybe we would get to her legs today, maybe we wouldn't. But we would talk about it eventually. I wasn't going to let her shut me out. She'd tried before, on several of the many occasions where she'd been hurt. It had never worked before, it would not work now. She should know to stop trying. I had thought we had made progress on this.

"Not compared to what I've felt in the past." She didn't open her eyes, but her fingers curl around mine, giving me hope. Maybe this was the only thing that had kept her from welcoming us. Not that it wasn't enough, but something kept nagging at me, telling me there was more to this than what she was saying.

We sat there in silence, me not knowing what to say, her looking like she was asleep. After a few minutes, Garrus poked his head inside. "We're ready."

I tugged on Shepard's hand. Her eyes flew open, she looked startled, like she hadn't heard him. I nod toward Garrus.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yes," she says, but she sounds so weary. If she had fallen hard enough to paralyze her, what other injuries did she have? She said she wasn't hurting, but when how was I to know if she was being honest?

Garrus walked over to us and bent down. "I'm sorry about this, Shepard." He waited for me to give him the go ahead, then leaned in and picked her up. The sun is so bright once we are outside. Shepard doesn't seem to notice, her eyes already closed.

The native girl that had found us out in the trees comes over and takes Shepard's other hand in hers. It made things a little awkward for Garrus, who kept moving toward a metal sheet lying on the ground.

"Tyana?" Shepard says without opening her eyes.

"Yes, it is me," the girl answers, my omni-tool translating automatically.

Shepard's eyes snapped open, their beautiful green finally visible in the sunlight. "Universal?"

I frowned, unable to hide it. She knew how this worked, we'd met hundreds of people we wouldn't be able to speak to without a translator. Was she not thinking clearly? Maybe she had hit her head.

The girl, Shepard had called her Tyana, pointed at my arm. Someone must have explained it to her while I was in the small house. Shepard grunted and looked disgusted with herself for a second.

"Where's Daemon?" she asks. Who was Daemon?

We make it over to the scrap of metal and Garrus squats down, gently sitting Shepard in the middle of the small square, then moving out of the way. Didn't they have a blanket of some sort, something for Shepard to lay on other than the hot metal? I bite my lip, trying to think of something, but nothing comes to mind.

"He is not happy," Tyana answers her. "Daemon wished to hold you until he was able to ask your people for something when he returned you."

"Ransom," Garrus said, his voice dark, his face even darker.

Tyana shrugged. "This word I do not understand."

"That little…" Shepard whispers under her breath, no doubt the words were not meant for any of our ears. "No wonder he wouldn't help me get back."

"Shepard." Tyana's voice was soft, almost afraid. "Please, I must go with you. This place is not safe for me any more." I can see the look in her eyes. It isn't her safety she's worried about. She wants to be where Shepard is, like the rest of the crew. How does Shepard do that, even when the two of them couldn't understand each other until the last five minutes?

"Are you worried about Daemon?" Shepard asks, her voice that dangerous tone that usually meant someone was about to get shot. It would have been intimidating if I didn't know her, even now, injured and without a weapon she still had the air of someone in control.

"Yes. And the rest of my people. They've seen all the time we have spent together, I do not know how they will react when you leave."

All the time they'd spent together? What did that mean? I watch Shepard, but nothing shows on her face.

"Alright then, but think about it while we head toward the Normandy, I doubt that if you get on that ship you're going to be able to go home. Don't you have any family here?" The girl shook her head. Shepard sighs. "Find the doctor then, you can start as her assistant for now, until we find out what you want to do with yourself."

Tyana beams at Shepard and takes off. I watched her skid to a stop by the doctor, who was speaking with Ashley.

"Daemon made her take care of me," Shepard said. She almost sounded apologetic.

"I'm glad you had someone to help you." And I was glad. But I wished it had been someone else, more specifically, me. Was she what I was feeling was wrong with my bond with Shepard? I would never have thought that her feelings would go so dark about the chance that she wouldn't be able to move her legs. It was a terrible blow to someone like her, but she'd always risen above everything. Something else was wrong, and I was going to find out what. I had to, if there was to be any chance I could fix this.

Shepard

Liara hasn't stopped glancing my way since we left the village. Every time she thinks I'm not paying attention, she's staring into my face like she can read my heart there. It's a good thing she can't, it's a mess right now.

Really and truly, all I want is to tell her everything, how I had slaughtered an entire species, had murdered one of our best friends, but I can't. A friend absolutely loyal to me. I can't stand the thought of how she'll look at me if she knows. Even if she only dislikes me half as much as I dislike myself, it would crush what little wish to live that I have left. I'm tired. So tired. Just this morning had worn me down enough that I keep dozing off, jerking awake just in time to see Liara look away quickly.

How long had we been on the move? Hard to say since I kept napping. Curse this stupid weakness. Not just the legs, all of it. I'd thought I'd be able to deal with this better, but every time one of the crew sends me one of those looks, full of pity, with just a smidgen of fear, something inside me withered. Nothing was ever going to be the same if Chakwas couldn't fix me.

"Hello? Hello? Anyone there yet?" Joker's voice crackled into hearing. No. I wasn't ready for this yet. I started to hyperventilate. It wasn't supposed to be this way, not when I was seeing a friend for the first time since we'd both almost died. It wasn't supposed to be, but it was.

"Yes, Joker," Liara answered. "We found her." Silence.

"Commander?" he asked, after a full minute had passed. His voice sounded so small, afraid to hope. He'd lost so much when the Reapers fell. I had to hold it together. Like Liara, he wouldn't understand why I couldn't fall back into life the way it was before. Not until I told him, and he hated me.

"Yes, Joker, I'm here."

He didn't answer for a few seconds. "Good, I was just about to get worried. See you soon."

I smiled. That guy had no idea how to handle serious situations. By now it should be second nature.

"Joker nearly got the crew killed when he wouldn't leave you on the Citadel." Garrus said from ahead of me somewhere. "Ashley had to force him."

I nod my thanks to Ash, who had taken the rear guard. She nods back, relief plain on her face. She probably thought I would be upset about her decision to leave me behind, but it had been the right call. Joker was the one I would have to talk to. He couldn't risk the entire crew for one person. Especially when that one person had just killed the only love he'd ever had.

Poor Tyana was walking beside Ashley, jerking away at any strange sound the crew made. It was going to blow her mind, taking off in the Normandy. Hopefully not beyond repair. But I couldn't leave her here, not if Daemon really was a threat.

"What did you think of the ship, Tyana?"

Her forehead crinkles in concentration, like she's trying to figure out what it is I mean by that.

"She hasn't seen it, Shepard," Liara clarifies. "She met us in the jungle on the way to you."

Ah. That explained much. She might not be so keen on going with us once she realized where we were going, or how we were going there. Where were we going after this? Somewhere the media wouldn't find out I was alive, that was for sure. Somewhere I could get ahold of Miranda Lawson, get the ball rolling on figuring out what we could do about my synthetic friends.

"Liara?"

"Yes?" she sounded so happy that I'd spoken to her, an excited smile covering her face. I should be able to focus on that, on the joy that we brought each other, but my tired mind just kept picturing the kid on the Citadel, telling me to choose.

"Would you do something for me?"

"Of course, Shepard. Anything."

"I need to talk to Joker again."

Immediately she hails the Normandy. "In trouble already?" Joker asks.

"Not any more than we were a couple minutes ago. I just need a favor, Joker."

"And that would be? Nothing too strenuous, I hope. Wouldn't want me too tired for the welcome home party. I might even dance with you."

The blood drains out of Liara's face, and I hear Tali's gasp, even with the damage to my eardrums. "Not likely," I say, keeping a tight rein on my voice. Liara looks sick and I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better. But there isn't, not really. "I need you to find Miranda Lawson. I need to speak with her."

"I'm already on that, Skipper. We saw her at your memorial service, it was nice by the way, people seem to think you're a hero or something, but she disappeared after that. I figure if anyone can help us, it's her. You know, with EDI." He suddenly goes quiet. "Someone did tell you about EDI, didn't they?"

"I am aware of what happened to EDI." Painfully aware. He didn't mention the Geth, oversight on his part because of his feelings for EDI, or had they not heard? "You know how important this is then, get ahold of her ASAP."

"Yes, Commander." And he was gone again.

What if Miranda didn't know how to help them? I tried to take a breath, but the oxygen wouldn't cooperate. What if nothing could be done? What if… I couldn't catch my breath, black dots darted across my vision. Then, suddenly, a warm hand gripped mine, pulling me back. I blinked at looked up into Liara's concerned face.

"Is everything okay, Shepard?"

No, but it would be soon. I would make sure of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Shepard

We finally made it to the clearing where I'd woken up. I'd thought this wouldn't be a problem, but seeing where I'd been trapped brought back those feelings of hopelessness, the weight of the metal pushing down on my armor. Where was my armor, anyway? Not that it really mattered, there wasn't much left intact. I averted my gaze from the wreckage, trying to find something else to look at.

Tyana had drifted away from the doctor and toward me, her face frozen in a mix of awe and fear. The first time seeing a ship would be a little frightening, I guess, especially if your first was a ship like the Normandy.

The two crew members who had unfortunate duty of dragging me along pulled the sled up to the ramp of the Normandy. They had switched out several times, I didn't even know who was up there right now. "Thanks," I called.

"Any time, Commander."

"There you are." Joker shambled down the ramp toward me. He reached the sled and bent down, pulling me into a tight hug. I stiffened. This was awkward. He wasn't giving up though, so I hugged him a little back. He let go but kept a hand on my arm. "Would you mind giving the dying a rest? Maybe wait a couple years before you do it again? You freaked us all out."

"I'll see what I can do. Might be harder to get into trouble now." I gestured toward the lower half of my body, trying to make a joke out of the situation.

"Always were jealous that I was the cripple, huh, had to outdo me."

Hah. Jerk. I felt one corner of my mouth curl up. "I had to find some way to get people to leave me alone, let me get some rest."

Joker's expression changed to embarrassment. He let go of my arm and rubbed the back of his neck. "About that. I know you're going to do everything you can, but do you have any ideas? About EDI, I mean? You'll fix her, you always fix everything, I was just wondering how long you think it will be?"

The smile fell off my face and I let the stony mask that had served me so well over the years fall into place.

"Joker," Ashley hissed. "She can worry about that later, leave her alone."

"I'll be on it tonight, Joker, if you get ahold of Miranda for me."

"All right. I knew it." His joy and excitement were almost too much. I could practically feel myself folding into the metal, exhaustion creeping into every cell of my body.

Fingers ran through my hair and I jerked, looking for the culprit. Who would dare… Liara. Okay, it was fine if it was her. I gave her a small smile. None of this was her fault. I could hold her at arms length until she found out what I had done, then she would hate me and I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her. Even if, somehow, with her amazing heart she didn't hate me, it wouldn't matter. Things couldn't be the same unless I was able to become a whole person again. And I didn't mean I wasn't whole because of my legs.

"I'll get on that again, right now." Joker headed back up into the Normandy at an extremely high rate of speed. At least for him, anyway.

Garrus made his way through the rest of the crew. "Ready to make your triumphal re-entry?"

I nod, but don't say anything. He stoops down and picks me up gently. The slight incline of the ramp doesn't seem to affect him. We move into the airlock and I take a deep, experimental breath. Home. Or as close to a home as I'd had in quite awhile.

"Where to now?" Garrus asks. I'm not really sure.

"Medical," Doctor Chakwas says from behind, taking away my choice. I sigh. She was supposed to be in control of anyone with an injury, I should set a good example. Garrus waits until I nod, then heads for the elevator.

I would put up with this until Joker found Miranda, then that was it. Maybe something could be done for me after that, but I wasn't going to worry about it until I could get Miranda working on the synthetic problem.

The walk to the med bay was far too short. Not that I liked being held by Garrus, pretty awkward actually, but something told me I wasn't going to like what the scans said. A niggling in the back of my brain told me I knew why my legs weren't working, I just couldn't remember. Something that the Catalyst had said, but it was all so foggy. I remembered the pain, the pain from my injuries and the other type of pain, far worse. Anderson, not knowing if Liara was okay. I looked over Garrus's shoulder and there she was, still following. She noticed me looking and smiled, that beautiful happy smile. How could she be so happy?

Somehow Chakwas had beat us to the med bay. She was waiting when Garrus walked through the door. "Put her over here," she ordered, pointing at one of the beds along the wall.

Garrus did as commanded and stepped back. "Do you need anything else?"

"Not right now, thanks," I said, trying to make him feel better. I'd feel helpless if our roles were reversed, he was probably feeling worse about the whole situation than I was, except for the mass murder part that he didn't even know about.

"Okay then, I'll be within calling distance if you think of anything."

Ha, I needed a lot of things right now, but he wouldn't be able to help me with any of them. Liara moved over and sat next to me on the bed. I caught a glimpse of Tali and Ashley standing right outside the med bay doors when they swished open for Garrus on his way out. Ugh, all this attention was going to drive me insane. Except for Liara's of course, I could always find ways to deal with that.

The doctor came over. "Lay flat. The bed is equipped with diagnostic tools, we should know what's wrong within the next ten minutes."

I did as she asked, glaring at Liara when she moved to help. I could still lay down in a bed without help. Oh, but it was cold. The doctor went back to her display panel and started typing away. "Did someone take Tyana down to the crew's quarters?" I asked after a moment.

"Yes, Ashley said she would take care of it," Liara answers.

I nod my thanks and close my eyes, about ready to doze off again. Maybe more had been wrong with my body than I'd thought, I was still so tired, even after a week of just lying around. Liara's quiet presence doesn't move. I'd thought maybe she would go if I fell asleep. "How are you feeling?" I ask eventually. "You scared me back at the push to the beam."

"I'm well, Shepard. The doctor was able to heal my wounds very quickly. And you do not know the meaning of being scared." I look into her blue, blue eyes and nearly cringe. I was the reason she'd felt all that. But I hadn't had a choice.

"I'm glad you're feeling okay." She hadn't been in pain long, one of the few good things about that day. Other than the Reapers being gone for good. "What about everyone else? Jacob? Hackett? How bad did the fleets get hit? How is Earth? What about all our allies, were there many losses?" So many questions, things I'd been wondering about since I'd woken on the jungle floor. It hadn't seemed like the place to ask them earlier, not with everyone around. I threw the most important question there at the end, hopefully she wouldn't notice how important the answer was to me.

"I do not have all the answers. The Normandy was hit by the blast from the Citadel, we were down for several days. After enough repairs were done to get us in the sky again, we began our search for you. Hackett survived, but I don't know about anyone else. So much was destroyed by the Reapers, communication has been difficult."

She didn't answer my most important question. How did I ask about the Geth without losing control, without her feeling the need to push me for answers? Did she even know they were all gone? There was no reason to believe they had survived when EDI hadn't.

Doctor Chakwas made a disgusted sound from the other side of the room. She stood and walked toward us, shoulders slumped.

"Nothing seems to be wrong with your spine. If I was one to guess, I would say the cybernetics that replaced the section of spine you lost in the Normandy SR1 crash are malfunctioning."

I close my eyes, my mind flying to the Citadel, to the Catalyst. I had pretty much stopped listening when he said that if I destroyed the Reapers, it would also destroy all other synthetic life also. I'd thought that wasn't an option, until I'd heard his other ideas. Take control? Only to risk losing it at some point and being forced to repeat everything? Force organics and synthetics to join? Not likely. But he had said something else after telling me all synthetic life would die, something about pieces of me being synthetic as well.

"There's nothing you can do," I tell the doctor. "I know what's wrong. Would someone please, please find Miranda Lawson, right now."


	11. Chapter 11

___I had a great suggestion in one of the reviews to use bold on the POV changes. Thanks, I should have thought of that! I tried the lines when I first started the story, but I was doing something wrong, it messed the formatting all up and I stopped trying. Hopefully bold fixes this. Anyway, chapter 11!_

**Liara**

Why did Shepard need Miranda so badly? What wasn't she telling me? Did she believe Miranda would be able to help with her paralysis? No, it was something more than that. I stared at her, willing her through our bond to explain what was going on. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. I could feel her worry through our bond, and something else. Something dark. She was angry. So angry. And hurting, deep inside, far worse than any physical pain I'd ever felt her in.

"Doctor, can I borrow your omni-tool? I need to speak with Joker," Shepard said. Her words were slurring a little, her eyes drooping. This day must have been very hard on her physically. I reached forward and touched her face. Clammy. She needed to rest.

"You take a short nap for me and I'll get you one of your own," Doctor Chakwas said. She would never have said something like that to Shepard in the past, but things were different now. Was she back in charge of the Normandy now that she was on board? As far as the crew was concerned, I had no doubt of it. But what about Alliance Command? Would she keep her ship if we didn't find a solution to her paralysis?

Shepard definitely knew when to argue and when it would be useless. She closed her eyes and settled back into the bed. It was only a few moments before her breathing leveled out.

"Is she asleep?" Doctor Chakwas asked.

I took her hand in mine. Her grip tightened for a second, then released, fingers twitching. "I believe so."

The doctor slumped back in her chair. "Good. That hike through the jungle wasn't good for either of us." She stood and walked over, leaning in to listen to Shepard's breathing. "Keep an eye on her, I'm going to lie down for a bit."

I nodded. The poor woman deserved some rest. Even I was tired, and I was used to Shepard dragging me all over rough, unexplored worlds. Not so soon after an injury of course, but I was mostly healed.

The door slid shut behind the doctor. I drifted back in my chair, not letting go of Shepard's hand, the day of walking, plus all the emotions of the last week catching up with me.

"Liara," Shepard hissed. I started forward, almost falling out of my chair. Why was she whispering? More importantly, why was she awake? "Get me an omni-tool." I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. Here was a little bit of the old Shepard. "What?" she asked when she saw my expression.

"Nothing. But you heard the doctor."

"I don't care, it's important. Please." She sounded like she was begging, her beautiful eyes so sad. And so dark beneath them, like she hadn't slept in three weeks. She probably hadn't. I'd only ever heard her beg once before, when I'd been injured on the push to the beam, when she told me to hold on, that everything would be okay. Why wouldn't she just tell me what was so wrong? We should be celebrating right now. What would have her so upset that she barely seemed to know I was here? Wait. She was so close to Joker. It had to be EDI. She wanted to save her, to bring back Joker's heart. What else could the problem be? How could I say no to that?

"You can use mine," I whisper back. "But only for a second, you really do need to rest."

She nodded at me and I rested my arm on the bed beside her. "Joker?" Shepard said into the mic, voice barely audible even to me, sitting right beside her.

"Commander! I tried to get ahold of you, but the doctor wouldn't let me. Sorry about that."

"Not your fault, status on Miranda?"

"Actually, I have good news. I just heard that Hackett had her brought back to Earth to help with the re-construction. I got her to agree to a meeting without telling her about you, I wasn't very specific on what I wanted, I'm surprised she even agreed. After all, it is Miranda."

"There's a good heart in there somewhere, and she probably feels like she owes me to look after you guys. Where are we meeting?"

"We're going to float just outside of the debris ring, I sent her the coordinates. She's bringing a shuttle up to the Normandy. You have forty-five minutes."

"Good," I interrupted. "Don't let anyone bother her for that time, she needs to sleep."

"You got it, Commander's Commander."

"What is that supposed to mean, Joker?" I asked. He laughed but didn't answer, closing the connection. I turned to Shepard, who was giving me a tired smirk. "What does he mean?"

"Nothing, I'm sure." She closed her eyes, her body finally relaxing. Good. Right now she needed to rest.

"I've been resting for an entire stinking week," she said without opening her eyes, like she could read my mind. As if a week was enough time to recover from a fall from space, even for her. "I shouldn't be this tired. But I am. I think… I think I'll sleep now." Her words slurred, her voice going groggy. She had to be terribly exhausted. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. A ghost of a smile crossed her face before she settled in and this time, she was really asleep.

**Shepard**

"Commander?" the voice was quiet, but insistent. I shifted in bed, but I couldn't get my eyes to open. Surely the forty-five minutes weren't gone already. I tried to push up on the bed, but my hand was stuck. I opened my eyes to see Liara with the upper half of her body sprawled across the bottom of my bed, my hand held tightly in hers. My heart nearly stopped.

"Commander?" The doctor was there. "Miranda is about to dock. Would you like me to bring her down here?" Which was worse, to have the crew see me try to make it around the ship or to have Miranda see me in the med bay? The crew had already seen everything there was to see.

"Do you have some way of getting me down to the conference room that doesn't involve me in a certain turian's arms?" Liara stirred and I froze. She looked so tired. I put a finger to my lips and Chakwas kept quiet for a moment.

"No, unless you want to try someone else's arms," she whispered, keeping her gaze on the sleeping asari. "I sent for Cortez, Traynor and Vega, they stayed behind after your memorial service." She snorted. "What a waste of time. It's a good things Liara and Joker insisted on checking every debris site afterward." I smiled and rubbed my thumb over Liara's knuckles. "Told them to bring a chair with them, I hope I wasn't overstepping."

My moment off peace flitted away and gut anger flared for a second, before I forced myself back in control. Of course she wasn't overstepping, I needed one. "No, thanks," I ground out. With all my concentration being on the geth and EDI, my legs hadn't really hit me yet. Until now. Liara stirred, no doubt feeling my agitation through our bond. "Just have her sent here." Not really a good option, but better than having Garrus carry me around like a doll.

The doctor moved to the other side of the room to her desk. I ran a hand over Liara's tentacles. She was lucky to not have hair to worry about keeping clean. I was such a mess right now, I should have spent that forty-five minutes getting a bath.

Liara stirred and I shook her shoulder a little. "Wake up, Miranda is here." She opened her eyes, squinting at me in disbelief. She sat up and let go of my hand. I flexed it a couple times, trying to recover feeling. She had quite the grip.

"She's here already?" Liara asked.

I nodded and we sat together in silence, both half asleep.

A few minutes later, the med bay door slid open and Miranda walked through, talking with Ashley. "I'm happy to help, of course, but did Joker really have to ask that I come in person? We could have easily gone over this by comm, allowing me to stay in the lab."

"We could have, but we thought you would want to see this," Ashley jerked her chin toward me.

Miranda turned, her face going slack when she saw me, shock warring with joy when she caught my eyes. "Shepard?" she asked.

"You think it's that easy to kill me?" I asked lamely.

She rushed over and pulled me into a hug, nearly knocking me off the bed. "Careful there, Tiger, she's not at one hundred percent," Ashley said.

"Oh no, of course not, not after all that happened." She pulled back. "What exactly did happen?"

I closed my eyes, a bout of panic nearly overwhelming me. I wasn't ready for the questions, not even close.

"She's been hurt, Miranda," Doctor Chakwas answered for me.

"Hurt how?" Miranda was instantly all business.

"For some reason her cybernetics seem to me malfunctioning. Her body is compensating everywhere except for the implant in her spine."

"She has full function without the rest of the implants, she did as soon as she was up and moving, they just helped her heal faster. Except for the one in her spinal column, her spine was injured severely in the Normandy SR1 crash." Miranda was instantly back in researcher mode. I had to get control of this before the two of them were dissecting me instead of working on what I needed them to work on.

"Wait. I didn't ask for you to come and heal me." The whole room stopped talking and turned to me. Liara was here, and Ashley. They didn't have to know what I'd done on the Citadel, but what if my selfishness caused the geth to never come back? What if my worry about what they thought meant that Joker never got to see EDI again? Liara was brilliant, and had amazing connections. She might be able to help Miranda. "I need your help with something much, much more important."

**Liara**

Much more important than allowing her to walk again? What was she talking about? I shared a glance with Ashley, but she looked as baffled as I felt.

"What happened to the geth?" Shepard asked.

The geth? What did they have to do with anything? Had she hit her head in the fall? I moved closer, trying to get a read on her feelings, but she was blocked to me.

"The geth deactivated when the Reapers were destroyed," Miranda answered. "We're still finding them scattered all throughout the rubble on Earth."

Shepard's eyes closed and she sagged into the bed, like she had just had her fears about something confirmed. The Geth were gone too? So EDI disappearing wasn't because of the ship being damaged, it had something to do with the blast from the Citadel. Shepard was lost in thought, her face etched with a terrible sorrow. _Oh Shepard, what happened up there?_ I would ask her someday, but not right now.

I touched her back, just to let her know I was still here, but she didn't acknowledge me.

"So they're connected, then," Miranda said. "Something to do with the Reapers being destroyed."

"Yes, and I need you to look into it."

"Of course, Shepard, anything you want. As soon as we get you up and around again. There are quite a few options now, I'll spend the rest of the day getting things around, then we can choose our plan of attack together."

"No, the geth first." She was using that voice, the voice that said there would be no argument.

"Shepard, you've always worried about everyone else before yourself," I said. "Let us take care of you, it isn't like the geth will deteriorate."

"Geth first," she said. There was no use arguing with her when she used that tone. I didn't answer her.

"You aren't hearing what I'm saying Shepard, I think I can fix the problem with your legs. You'll need extensive therapy afterward, without the cybernetics to help, but it is doable."

"I heard you fine Miranda, but how long would recovering take? How long until I was walking, and then how long until I'm back to fully functioning?"

Her face clouded. She wasn't going to like the answer, but I'd already known that.

"You should be walking in about six months, walking without help in hopefully a year. But there is no guarantee that you will ever be back to what you consider fully functional." She would never accept that. I knew without her even saying it what her answer would be.

"I appreciate the thought you've put into this, but I can't distract myself, not until the Geth and EDI are back online."

"Well then, I would say we have to go back to the source. There is only one entity that I know of that may have the answer." I wasn't going to like this, I could tell right now. "I've heard all the stories from Garrus and Cortez. About who created the Reapers in the first place. We need to find Leviathan."


	12. Chapter 12

_I'm not sure about this chapter. I kind of feel like it's a waste, it doesn't really move the story forward. I almost just deleted it, but then I figured if I'd done the work to write it I might as well post it and see what happens. This week is crazy busy for me, not sure how often I'll be able to update _

**Liara**

"What?" The word came out sharp, far sharper than I'd intended, but I was not going to let that happen. The last time we'd run into Leviathan, it had almost been a disaster. "How can you just say that? Don't you know what that means?"

Miranda's face went into that cool mask I hated so much. "After Shepard's memorial I dedicated quite a bit of time to finding out what happened to EDI. After seeing Joker so broken up, I felt that it was the least I could do. Trust me, if there was any other way, I would jump at the chance. I don't wish to put Shepard in danger any more than you do, perhaps someone else can make the dive."

As if Shepard would ever allow that. She'd barely made it back from speaking with Leviathan last time, and she'd been in peak condition. Her being paralyzed didn't affect how I felt about her, but it should change this type of thing. Surely she wouldn't consider trying something like this?

"Ashley," Shepard said, her tone scaring me.

"Yes?"

"I want a diving mech on board ASAP. I'll give you two hours, since things are a little crazy on Earth right now. We'll leave as soon as you get us one." She laughed, but it wasn't her sweet, happy laugh. It was bitter, I'd say afraid if I didn't know better. "I don't think the one I used last time would be a good option."

She couldn't be serious. She wasn't really going to do this, was she? I wouldn't say anything in front of the rest of her crew. As a crew member, I should be quiet and follow her wherever she led. But the other side of our relationship was not going to let that happen. Things were different now, whether we wanted them to be or not.

"Yes, Commander." Ashley, ever the good solider. She hurried from the room.

Shepard avoided my eyes. I kept a pointed stare in her direction. She had to feel it. She always could tell when someone was watching her. She was avoiding looking at me, knowing how I would feel about this.

There was no use trying to talk to her alone. She wouldn't listen to me, would just say that I didn't want her to go because I would worry. Sure thing I would worry. But I wasn't the only one. I got up and headed for the door, finally feeling her gaze on my back. I ignored it. If she would listen to anyone, it would be Garrus. And there was no way he was going to like her going down into that darkness again any more than I did.

**Shepard**

"Commander, you have company," Chakwas said from the door. She'd walked out a few minutes ago, after looking at her omni-tool.

_Just what I need, more company._ No, I shouldn't be thinking like that. At least people cared. It was better than no one wanting to see me. I wouldn't want to see me if I was them. But most of them didn't know I'd killed EDI. Liara and Miranda were good at keeping secrets, no one would know unless I told them.

Miranda looked up from the terminal she was working at, but didn't move to get up. She'd been quiet since Liara left. Poor Liara. She hadn't pushed me for details on what had happened up on the Citadel, but she must have an idea, that's why she had left. It was better this way. Until I got EDI back, and the geth, I wasn't worth much. After that, I'd let Miranda try to work her magic. If I lived that long. Then we would see where we were, Liara and me.

The door opened and Traynor rushed in. Without even pausing, she ran forward and grabbed me, nearly making me tip off the bed.

"Careful!" Chakwas snapped. "Am I going to have to hang a sign on the door, don't hurt the Commander?"

Traynor jumped back away from me. "Oh, I'm sorry! It's just so good to see you, we thought-"

"Thought I was dead. Yeah. It's fine, no harm done." Other than the fact that I could have hit the floor and totally embarrassed myself, which made me more than a little uncomfortable.

"So this thing is for you," Vega said, giving the chair he'd brought in a shove. It's little motors whirred and creaked as it tried to slow down. "Chakwas wouldn't say, but I told the other two that if we were getting called up here, and told to bring that thing, you must be here. What's wrong with you?"

"Vega," Cortez said from the doorway. "A little tact?"

"Sorry, Lola, you hurt?"

"Just a small malfunction with the cybernetics," Miranda came to my rescue. "Not terribly hard to repair."

"Good." Vega grinned. "You can't get out of cleanup that easily. You left quite a mess on Earth when you blew those things to bits."

"Time to go," Chakwas said, shooing them toward the door. "You got to see her, you know she's alive, that's enough for now."

"But we only just arrived." Traynor scooted closer to me, like I could do something about them getting thrown out. I couldn't control Chakwas. Not when it came to this sort of thing, as evidenced by the fact that I'd had to beg Liara to let me use her omni-tool. A pang hit me. What was she doing right now? Crying in her room? Sitting down in the shuttle, waiting to catch a ride down to Earth?

"The commander needs rest, no matter how much she protests."

I wasn't going to argue, she won. It wasn't rest I needed, but quiet. "Thanks, for being here."

Traynor smiled, a huge smile. "Of course."

"Can you do me a favor?" Asking for a favor now seemed kind of rude, but I couldn't take care of everything myself. For now.

"Of course."

"Can you check in on a girl named Tyana? I'm not sure where Ashley stuck her, but I want to know that she's comfortable." No, rephrase. There was no way she was comfortable. "As comfortable as possible."

Traynor looked confused, but she nodded and left. Vega followed her.

"Glad to have you back, Shepard," Cortez said in his normal, quiet way. He smiled at me, then followed the other two out of the room.

I eyed the chair they'd brought me. It appeared to be equipped with hovercraft tech. I sighed. Not the greatest of rides, but definitely better than Garrus carting me around. It would have to do. At least until we made it to Despoina. One of the many places in the galaxy I'd hoped I'd never have to return to. Miranda had better be right about this.


	13. Chapter 13

**Liara**

I stopped at the closest crew member. "Vakarian?" I barked.

She looked at me, a little wide-eyed. "He said something about needing to relax. Headed for the main battery."

I nodded my thanks and stormed toward the battery, barely noticing the other crew members I passed. Of course he was at his guns, where else did he ever go? Ah yes, there he was, bent down over his terminal like always.

"Garrus?" I said as I moved in behind him.

"Yes?"

"You won't believe what she's planning."

Garrus turned and leaned against the terminal, chuckling. "You can bet I'll believe it. Every one of her plans has been crazy. But so far, every one of them has succeeded, in one way or another." He looked thoughtful for a second. "Unless Kai Leng was involved. But that ended up working out too, I guess." He must have noticed the anger radiating off my body. "Surely it can't be that bad."

"She wants to go for another visit to Leviathan. Herself."

Garrus's mandibles flicked and his face held the closet look to horror I'd ever seen on a turian. "Even though she… even with… that's not happening."

"That's what I say." I nearly collapsed into the wall in relief. Someone was on my side. Not that any of the crew would probably think that Shepard going down into that blackness again was a good idea, but like Garrus said, Shepard always won in the end. No one else was going to tell her no. And she wasn't going to take it well when we did.

"What in the entire galaxy would want to make her want to go down there?"

Right, he'd been kind enough to try and give Shepard and me some alone time and hadn't been there for Miranda's announcement.

"She wants to bring EDI back. And the geth."

"The geth shut down too?" He shook his head. "Why didn't anyone mention that to us when we were down on Earth? Though we were pretty focused on finding Shepard. Has she told you anything about what happened up there yet?"

"No. But Miranda put this crazy idea in her head that Leviathan might now something, since it was there when the Reapers were created."

We stood there in silence for a moment. No doubt he was running things through in his mind like I had done a hundred times. "There's no other way to bring EDI back?"

"Miranda doesn't think so."

"And she's usually right about this kind of thing." Garrus sighed. "I thought we were going to get a break after the Reapers were gone. But knowing Shepard, she won't rest until this is fixed. Which means we don't rest. You know that it will be impossible for us to keep her from going to Despoina, don't you."

Yes, it would be. She was so determined all of the time, one of her best and yet most frustrating traits. Couldn't she let us enjoy our victory for a couple days, at least?

"When do we leave?" Garrus asked.

I turned and let the side of my face rest on the cool metal of the Normandy, my exhaustion making my eyes burn. "Within the next two hours, as soon as Ashley finds a diving mech."

Garrus snorted. "Yeah, I guess we wouldn't want to use the other one, would we."

"Garrus," it came out in almost a whisper. "What are we going to do?" I'd been through the agony of losing her not once, but twice. It couldn't happen again. There was no way she was getting in that mech. No way she was putting herself in danger again, not until she was fully healed and walking. Which may be never, if she kept being so stubborn. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe if she never regained the use of her legs, we could find a nice apartment somewhere and just lock ourselves away from the world. Yeah, right. This was Shepard I was making plans for.

"It sounds like it's something that has to be done, for Shepard's sake. Whatever happened up there, she's taking it personal."

He was right. I hadn't thought of it like that. The coldness, the extra anger, it wasn't her paralysis, it was her feeling guilty. Just like after she had shot my mother. She had just saved all known life and she was beating herself up about something. Why wouldn't she let me help, tell me what was going on inside her mind? "I guess this means when the time comes, we'll make sure both of us are on the landing team. She isn't going to be able to do anything when I jump in the mech instead of her."

"Are you sure you want to do that? It sounds like it was pretty intense down there last time, and Leviathan had a reason to play nice. Who knows what it will do now that the Reapers are gone. Maybe it isn't even down there anymore."

"Hopefully it is a creature of habit. Even with the Reapers gone, it doesn't really have a place in this galaxy. Maybe it went back to lie low for a bit. If there is any chance that this will bring Shepard peace, I have to try."

Garrus rubbed the back of his neck. "She'll kill me if I let you go down there. Probably literally. Maybe I should do it."

Tempting. Shepard would be angry at me even if it was Garrus who went, but much less homicidal toward me than if I led the mutiny. But I couldn't let him do that. "No, the thing respects Shepard. Maybe it will be able to sense our bond. If so it's more likely to communicate with me than with you."

"And hopefully less likely to give you a light tap and crush the mech," Garrus muttered.

"That too." As plans went, this definitely wasn't the greatest. But it would have to do. "Thank you." I gave Garrus a quick hug, pulling back in time to see the surprise cover his face before it vanished. Not too long ago we had been rivals, both wanting the same thing. But now, now I considered him a friend. A good friend at that. We could do this. We could because we had to.


	14. Chapter 14

**Shepard**

I glanced at Liara. She didn't look back at me. Had hardly acknowledged I was alive for the past three days, the time it took to get us here. She stared out in front of her, delicate hand gripping the hold beside her tightly so she didn't tumble off the seat as the shuttle whipped around in the terrible wind of this ugly planet. Was she upset at me about EDI? I'd never explained about my choice up on the Citadel, but she must have felt it somehow. What other reason did she have for being so angry with me?

Cortez finally set us down on that too familiar platform. At least this time we wouldn't have to fight our way to the water. Or so I hoped. I still hadn't figured out how to be much help in a fight. But if it came down to that, I'd figure it out as we went, in the thick of it, like always.

The shuttle landed in on the platform. Just like last time, I was glad we had Cortez. The spray of the waves made it hard to see, but he didn't even break a sweat.

The door opened and Garrus muscled past me to be the first one out. A jolt of anger hit me, then faded as quickly as it came. I'd do the same for him if he was the one in this chair. I rolled down the ramp, water pinging off my armor. Hopefully the chair could hold up in this torrent of wetness.

"Be careful out there."

I waved at Cortez to acknowledge his well wishes. He'd wanted to come out with us, but I'd told him to stay in and stay dry.

The Normandy went by overhead, moving close to the platform and lowering the diving mech. "Good luck, Commander," Joker said in my ear, voice subdued. He wasn't happy about this. No one was happy about this, including me. I took a shaky breath, then rolled forward. It didn't matter, do what had to be done. That was my life. The Normandy shot back off into the sky.

I felt Liara's presence behind me, but she still wasn't talking, just following. If I'd had my way, she would have stayed on the Normandy, where I didn't have to worry about her seeing anything she shouldn't. Like me dead, again. But she hadn't given me a choice. I was the one officially in charge, but that didn't matter when it came to Liara.

"The mech is all ready to go," Garrus said after a short inspection. "Cortez had it in top shape up on the Normandy, and it looks like it made the trip down in perfect condition."

I nodded and moved forward. This was going to be embarrassing. I should be getting used to that by now. "I need help getting in."

"Shepard, you promised me last time that you would never do this again." Liara finally said something, grabbing my cold hand in her warm one. "And now," she looked at my chair, caught herself and jerked her eyes back to my face. "You promised." So that was it. The source of her anger. I should have guessed it wasn't about EDI. Would have, if I hadn't been so focused on my I hated myself.

"Circumstances have changed, Liara." I said as gently as I could. "It has to be done."

Her face clouded over and she got that determined look that usually meant I was in trouble. "Then I'm sorry, but I can't let you be the one to go down there." She moved past me, charging toward the mech.

What, wait, what was she doing? It took me a moment to register. She jumped into the mech and the top closed, sealing her in. I moved in front of it. "Get out!" I yelled. Whether or not she could hear me over the sound of the wind and rain, I didn't know. I waved at her frantically. No way she was going down there. She looked at me, meeting my eyes for a second, then the mech lurched backward, away from me. To say she wasn't the best operator would be a major understatement. The mech fell off the edge of the platform head first and sank beneath the roiling water. I moved forward as far as I could, straining to see anything, but it was totally gone. I whirled around on Garrus.

"You knew about this?" I asked.

"Now, Shepard-"

"That was a yes or no answer," I bellowed.

"I ah, that is I…" He took a step back from me. "Yes, I knew."

So this was why she'd been so quiet the last few days. That little… I moved even closer to the edge, leaning over as far as I could. Garrus grabbed the back of my chair. I glared. "Let go."

"Not likely." He seemed to be over the nervousness of a few seconds ago. "You float down there and Liara will be back in a second, blasting away in my direction with that mech. You think you're scary when you're mad, she's ten times worse because it almost never happens.

Having been on the other side of a couple of those moments, I could relate. But that didn't mean he'd had to help out with this little mutiny. I narrowed my eyes, staring him down. He swallowed, but didn't give any other sign of being uncomfortable.

The water under the platform churned, making it impossible to see even a foot beneath the waves, let alone the distance Liara had to be by now. Okay, I could admit it, if only to myself, being the one left behind was scary. No, terrifying. Like worse than charging the Reaper beam terrifying, and then I'd been sure I was going to die.

_Liara, you sure as heck better not get yourself killed, or even hurt. _

**Liara**

I took an instinctual deep breath as the mech plunged into the ocean. Why anyone would want to do this was beyond me. And not just Shepard, who didn't seem to really want to, just thought it was necessary, but the people who'd left the original mech here, the one that was in pieces after Shepard cracked the cockpit glass the last time we were here. The mech righted itself, floating downward feet first now.

Another deep breath helped the jitters, but only a little. The outside light clicked on automatically, giving my first good look around. The water was moving enough to make it difficult to see, even down here. There, the bottom. Still quite a ways, but at least I could see it. I drifted down, so slow and yet far too quickly. I got close enough to see that what I'd thought was the bottom was actually just a mountain peak. Oh good.

The mech landed with a slight bump. Where to from here? It probably would have been a good thing to ask Shepard, if I'd have thought she would have answered me. Staying around to try to argue it out of her wouldn't have done me any good, she would have just found some way to get me out of the mech.

Finally, the mech's sensor beeped. It had found an anomaly. A big one. Hopefully the right one, and not some giant sea creature that would find the mech an interesting toy. I played with the controls and the mech blundered forward.

"Shepard to Liara, do you read?" The voice startled me, sounding strange in this still atmosphere. Should I answer? Only if I wanted to be, as Shepard put it, chewed out. "Dang it, Liara, I know you can hear me."

I sighed. "Yes, Shepard, I can hear you."

"You get that thing back up here right now." She was growling. A tone I'd heard many a time, but never directed at me before. Oh there were going to be consequences for this when I made it back to the surface. If I made it back.

"I'm going to turn off the sound if you don't behave," I said. No use having this fight right now. If something happened to me, I didn't want these to be our last words. I could practically hear her mind processing.

"No, don't do that." Now she sounded sad, defeated. Which was worse, angry or depressed? "Do you know where you're going?"

"I think so. The mapping system has found me a target."

"Be careful."

"Of course."

I tried to do a small jump off an outcropping but instead bounded forward, jumping into open water. Great. The mech slowly sank, bumping into the wall behind me once in awhile. Finally it landed again, this time on what looked like the bottom. For real this time.

Shepard was still talking in my ear, not making much sense as the connection broke and re-connected every few seconds. I let her talk, it was probably making her feel better. Garrus hasn't said a thing since I'd jumped into the water. Hopefully Shepard had let him live.

The console indicated I was getting close to the anomaly. Very close. I stepped around a huge pile of stone to see a Reaper stretched out as far as I could see. I took an involuntary few steps backward, nearly falling to the muddy muck beneath the mechs feet before I realized it wasn't a Reaper, it was what I was here looking for. I let out my held breath, my heart thundering in the enclosed space. Even though I'd known what to expect, it had still nearly frightened me to death. I gave my heart a few seconds to slow down, the stepped forward. Time to get this over with.


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed. You're the only reason I'm still working on this story. I usually stop as soon as I have everything figured out since I now know what is going to happen, but it's been fun having other people read my work. I apologize if anything about this chapter is inaccurate, it's been awhile since I played the Leviathan DLC. Thanks again for reading!_

**Liara**

A cold, empty feeling seeped into my consciousness. "Who are you?" The voice was deep, dark, like the ocean I was at the bottom of right now.

"I am Liara T'Soni."

"Ah, the bondmate of the Shepard. I know of you." Something wormed through my mind, touching on my memories, tickling my thoughts. It felt wrong, so dark. A meld of some kind? It had to be. Was this how the asari meld felt to the being we were joining with? No, it couldn't be.

"You are here about the geth."

Definitely a meld of some sort. Shepard hadn't mentioned this part.

"Yes. Will you be able to help us?

"It was your Shepard that destroyed the geth. Why do you not ask her to help you? Why should I care?"

"It was the Crucible that killed the geth, not Shepard."

"She had a choice. A choice to let them live or to force them to shut down. She chose to force them to shut down."

He had no way of knowing that. She'd never told be a thing about what had happened up on the Citadel, he couldn't be reading that from my mind. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Shepard is here. Far above. I feel the rain striking her skin, the wind tugging at her body. I always know about Shepard."

Creepy. And that wasn't enough to make me believe what it said was true. Shepard would never do that. Not after she'd fought so hard to save them, to bring peace to the geth and the quarians. There was something else here, something that neither of them had told me.

"Is there a way?" I asked, getting impatient. The thing was probably just bored down here, that's why it was forcing me to stay and talk.

"There is. But you will not like it."

"When have we ever liked our options," I muttered.

"I do not have an answer to the question that you ask of me, but I know of one who does. The last Reaper, waiting in dark space, with all the records of the Reapers. It was left as a precaution in case the Crucible was ever used. Even the relays couldn't send the signal that far into uncharted space. To find what you seek, you must locate the last Reaper."

The last Reaper? I felt dizzy for a second, my mind flashing all the possibilities past my eyes. No. They were gone. Gone for good.

"While the exact distance is unknown, it is a simple task to follow the Reapers trajectory from their arrival back to the point of origin." Numbers started running through my head. It showed me the coordinates of where the Reapers had come into the galaxy, and a path backward. "If you follow this, you will find it. How far into space is impossible to calculate."

My stomach clenched, my palms began to sweat. It was lying, it had to be lying.

A deep rumble started. The mech shook, shifting in the mud. Was the thing… laughing? "I do not lie, Liara T'Soni. Not at this moment. Will you go now to your Shepard? Will you tell her what I have told you?

Which was worse, her guilt over the geth, or the fact that a Reaper still lived? Either could kill her. Better to give her a chance to make right what she must feel was something that happened because of her. "Yes, I'll tell her."

"You may not wish to wait before traveling. I cannot guarantee that the Reaper will remain where it was at the time the Crucible fired. It may have activated when the others went offline, but without eyes there, we cannot know."

Shepard was not going to be happy about this. Or the rest of the crew. "Thank you for your assistance."

"I do not assist you. I assist your Shepard. She has done much for my race, avenging us. If you bring back the geth with this information, the debt is repaid."

Great. And what happened when that debt was repaid? Shepard had told me what Leviathan's race had done before the Reapers had wiped them out. Couldn't worry about it now. Our chances of coming back from a meeting with a Reaper weren't good anyway.

**Shepard**

What was taking her so long? I drummed my fingers on the armrest of my chair. Had it taken this long when I was down there? Worry tried to wriggle its way into my emotions, but I shoved it down with a healthy dose of anger.

"Liara?" I said into the mic in my helmet. No answer. "Where is she?" I asked Garrus, like he would have a better idea than I did.

"I'm sure she's fine, Shepard."

His calm voice didn't help in the slightest. She hadn't answered by comm in such a long time. _Darn it, Liara, you had better-_

The diving mech shot out of the water in front of me, almost in the exact spot it had gone down, spraying me with even more water. I hit the reverse on the chair hard, moving back to give Liara room to maneuver onto the platform. She hit the thrusters a couple times to get high enough, then set the mech down with a huge clank, making the whole platform vibrate. I wriggled in my seat, waiting to grab Liara and hold her tight, then throttle her.

After a second the mech shut down and the hatch on top popped open. Liara jumped out like the thing was about to blow. I could relate, I couldn't wait to get out after my trip down there either.

She looked up at the thing, then over toward Garrus and me. I started her way. She crossed her arms and just stood there, no doubt ready for me to tear into her. I let go of the gas at the last second, almost running my chair into her. I reached up and pulled her into a nearly bonecrushing hug. "Promise me you'll never do that again."

"The diving part or the mutiny part?"

"Both you idiot." I knew better than to believe a promise against mutiny. She would always do what she thought was best for me, just like I would always do the same for her.

A grin flickered across her face. "Shepard, I promise I will never take a diving mech to the bottom of the Despoina sea again."

Her happiness did nothing to help my mood. "What are you smiling about? What if you'd been hurt? That was in no way acceptable." Liara raised an eyebrow, or what passed for an eyebrow on an asari, and tipped her head, gesturing toward Garrus. Fine, if she wanted to have this discussion in private, it could wait. But it would happen. "We'll talk more about this later," I snarled.

She sighed. "I was expecting that."

"I hate to break this up, but was it there? Leviathan?" Garrus asked.

A wave hit the platform just as he finished speaking, spraying all of us with extra water. "Yes, it was there," Liara said. "I'll explain everything, back on the Normandy."

"Deal." And I would do some explaining too, about how the chain of command worked. And how relationships worked.

**Liara**

She was still giving me that sideways glare. I'd made her really, really mad this time, no going back now. No doubt I was going to get the relationship speech that I'd been on the receiving end of a couple times, once undeserved, quite a few more than that I had deserved. To say I didn't know how to be in a relationship in the beginning was an understatement, but she'd been patient with me. As I was trying to be with her now.

Thankfully the return trip to the Normandy had gone smoothly.

Neither of them asked about what had happened beneath the waves and I was grateful. I needed a few minutes of peace to sort this out. This was going to be enough to kill Shepard. Her worst nightmare come back to life. A smaller version than before, yes, but would she spend the rest of her life wondering if there were more out there, lurking? I would.

The shuttle landed in the cargo bay of the Normandy, set down so smoothly I could hardly tell we'd arrived. Maybe I should take some lessons from Cortez. As sensitive as he was, he must have known something hadn't gone well down on the planet, he hadn't asked any questions the whole trip up.

"Cortez, get everyone to the briefing room," Shepard said.

"Shepard, I think maybe we should talk about this alone first."

"Is it going to affect the crew?"

"Yes." More than I wanted to consider.

"Go, Cortez."

Ugh, why did she never listen to anyone? Sure, it was how she'd won the Reaper war, but she should at least listen to me. We moved to the elevator. Good thing it was so big, even with the chair we had plenty of room.

Everyone was gathered before the elevator even got us to the correct floor. They had probably been here the whole time, waiting. Tali bounced a little when we walked into the room, showing her happiness that we were still alive. Ashley smiled like she'd never been worried. The doctor and Joker were talking over by the wall, looking pretty at peace. As at peace as I'd seen Joker since EDI had gone offline. He knew Shepard was trying to get her back, and Shepard always did what she set out to do. But to go after a Reaper?

I paused at the door, staring at Shepard for a second. Did she really have to know? Should I send us on some pointless quest, assuring her that Leviathan had told me how to fix the problem? Or tell her that it didn't know. I sighed, reality setting in. Even if she believed me, it would just hurt her worse in the end. Plus, she always knew when people were lying, let alone her bondmate. Time to burst everyone's hopes of galaxy safety. She looked at me, her eyes asking what was wrong. I shook my head and into the room, sliding into a seat at the table.

"Liara, go ahead," Shepard said, moving her chair up to the table beside me. After her initial joy at seeing me alive, she and spent the rest of the ride back to the Normandy pointedly not speaking to me. Sure, I'd been doing the same thing over the last couple days, but it had been so I didn't confess to her what Garrus and I had been planning. "Liara?"

Oh yes, speak. "Leviathan says there is one entity that may be able to help us." I paused, the eyes in the room all trained on me. I wished for a desperate second that we'd never come here, that Shepard had been able to let things lie and that the last Reaper could have remained in dark space with no one the wiser. But things never worked like that.

"And where can we find this entity?" Garrus asked.

"Deep space, beyond the Terminus System. I have the coordinates of the place we should start looking.

"What type of thing is this?" Ashley asked.

"How does it know how to EDI back?" Joker said from where he leaned against the wall. He wasn't normally at these meetings, but this one was different.

I reached my hand out and grabbed Shepard's wrist. She might hate me right now, but hopefully my touch would bring her a little comfort. This was going to hit her the hardest. "It's another Reaper."

**Shepard**

"Are you insane? Why go looking for a Reaper?" Garrus asked. His words barely filtered into my mind, like I was the one who'd gone down to the bottom of that ocean and stayed there. At the moment that didn't sound like such a bad thing. Another Reaper? No, the Catalyst had said they would all die. My heart started out slow, then built up, nearly pounding out of my chest. I pulled in a deep breath, my lungs trying to compensate for all the oxygen being depleted as the blood went through my system to fast. The others in the room were all arguing, yelling so loud I couldn't understand what any of them were saying.

A squeeze on my wrist caught my attention. A blue hand, holding on tightly. I broke my gaze away and looked up into Liara's eyes. Sad. She was so sad.

"What are we going to do, Commander?" Ashley asked. Not her normal Skipper, but Commander. The room quieted, everyone waiting for me to answer. A bitter laugh escaped.

"I guess we're headed into deep space. Where no man has gone before. Isn't that a line from some old vid? No one has to do that doesn't want to, I won't force it. We can leave off any crew member that is uncomfortable with this mission at the next ship or planet we pass."

"We are with you, Shepard," Tali said. Her voice was comforting, though it held a slight quiver. Somehow she could always do that for me.

"But what's the plan? We need a plan for something like this," Garrus said.

"We'll come up with a plan on the way. We'll have plenty of time. Joker, set course. Liara will give you the coordinates."

"Wait. We can't just go running off into deep space without preparing. We're going to have to bring the Alliance in on this, to get supplies. I had a hard enough time getting that mech without telling anyone why. For all the stuff we need, we're going to need a bigger name than mine." Ashley said. She was quiet for a second, then continued. "And another reason the Alliance has to be brought in on this, so they know, if we fail, someone needs to know."

I groaned. She was right. I needed to spend a few minutes thinking things through. We were going to have to go back to Earth. I groaned again. Everyone was about to find out I was alive.


	16. Chapter 16

**Shepard**

She was tired, I was tired, but it didn't matter. I might lose my resolve if we didn't have this discussion before we split up for the night. She'd moved back down to her Shadow Broker room when we had boarded the Normandy, while I had been in the med bay. Miranda and Doctor Chakwas had ganged up on me, saying that they had to keep an eye on me with my cybernetics not working anymore. I could tell in the beginning that Liara wanted to sleep in the bed next to mine, but I had nicely refused. I didn't want her feeling like she had to take care of me. The universe was a different place now.

I reached up and rubbed the bridge of my nose, trying to relieve some of the pressure building in my head. In some ways different, some ways eerily the same. How could there be a Reaper left? Sure, just one was a bit of luck, but it was a nightmare that was supposed to stay dead. Right. Three days and then we'd be back on Earth. Then shooting off into space on yet another impossible mission. What other kind were there for the crew of the Normandy?

"Are you going to be okay?" Liara's gentle voice pulled me out of my thoughts. A glance around the room showed that everyone else was gone. They must have filed out while I was busy moping.

"Fine," I said, not very nicely. I ran my hand through my hair. "What happened planetside-"

"Shepard…"

"No, Liara. Let me talk. It wasn't okay. Not in any sense of the word."

"I couldn't let you do it," it came out in a near whisper, making it very difficult for me to hear. I watched her lips to make sure I didn't misunderstand her. I was going to have to break down and ask Chakwas for something to help with my hearing. "It was terrible the first time, I don't think I could have survived a second."

"You didn't even warn me!"

"Like you wouldn't have found a way to stop me if I had," her tone was slightly heated.

"It can't happen again," I growled out.

"It won't have to if you stop trying to get yourself killed! You have someone other than yourself to think of now, Shepard, and I need you to be more careful. You're the one that always wants to have these relationship talks when it's something I don't understand, but now there is something you don't understand. You died on me once and I will not let it happen again."

So now she was going to guilt me with the whole dying thing. It wasn't like I'd wanted to get sucked out into space and plunge to the ground. It had taken so long, but at the same time had gone so fast, me knowing these were the last few moments of my life. It's happened to me twice now, though the results had been much better the second go around. It was only going to take Miranda a year to get me back on my feet this time, if I let her.

"I had to do something," Liara nearly whispered.

"You don't get to make decisions for us," I said, my face starting to get warm.

"Well you shouldn't get to either!" Liara yelled back.

If she thought for one second that I would ever let her put herself in danger for me, she didn't know me very well at all. "I need you just as much. I won't let you get hurt." It came out angry, the tone making up for the kind words. Too much, I couldn't handle this.

"Shepard?" Someone asked from behind me. The accent gave her away immediately. I pushed the button to swivel my chair around.

"Tyana. Hi." I moved the anger to the back burner. At least my time dealing with the politicians had been good for something. It was so strange seeing her in an Alliance uniform. She wasn't Alliance, but that was the only outfit we had to give her and her native getup wasn't warm enough out here in space. How long had she been standing there? Long enough, no doubt about it. "Need something?"

"May I speak with you? Alone?"

I glanced at Liara. Steam was practically pouring out of her ears, whether because of what we'd been fighting about or because of Tyana I couldn't tell. I groaned quietly. "Of course. Can it wait a minute?"

She nodded and moved back against the wall, out of the line of sight but definitely still within hearing distance.

"It's fine. I think we were done here anyway," Liara said and headed for the door. Her anger showed in the stiff set of her shoulder, her precise, military steps. I had really done it this time.

"What do you need, Tyana?" I asked after the door slid shut behind Liara, my weariness coloring my voice. Why couldn't anything ever go well. Just once. Nothing ever did for me, I couldn't even get sushi without someone dying.

"I…we… I could hear you. And your… friend. You were fighting and I didn't want you to." Her words were coming out partly in Universal and partly in her native tongue, confusing the translating software. She was a fast learner.

"It's fine, Tyana, we'll work it out." Hopefully. Sure, I was spitting mad at Liara right now. Probably would be for a good while. But that didn't mean I didn't want to be around her. Not that she wanted to be around me.

"No, it's not fine Shepard. I have been listening to the stories about you. What if tonight a ship would attack and you would die again? Do you wish for this to be how she remembers you? Wondering if you still care for her?"

She knew I cared for her. Of course she did. But it didn't matter. Now that she knew about what I had done on the Citadel, it would be her that no longer cared for me. She hadn't come out and said it, but it was there. It had to be.

"It doesn't matter. I don't think things can be fixed."

Tyana crossed her arms, the first scowl I'd ever seen on her face beaming out at me fiercely. "Not unless you want it to be fixed. Go talk to her."

"You just stopped me from talking with her, now you want me to go after her?" This girl was crazy. Who knew how they did things back in the jungle, but that wasn't how we did things out here in the stars.

"Yes, I had to stop you from speaking in anger. Now you have calmed and you must go speak with her."

"No."

She grabbed a chair and drug it over, sat down and grabbed my hands, then waited to speak until I looked into her eyes. "Please."

Until this moment, she had been the only one of the crew that had never asked something of me. My mind still fought the idea, but if I could blast my way through a planets worth of mercs for Miranda, chased down a traitor for Garrus and all kinds of other crazy things for the rest of the crew, the least I could do was try again with Liara for Tyana. "Fine," I muttered. "But if she says one thing that makes me mad again, I'm done."

Tyana smiled happily and jumped out of her chair. "You are as wise as everyone has said."

Whoever was feeding her these stories was going to get a kick in the pants, even if I had to get Garrus to do it for me. I'd find out who it was later.

"She has probably gone to her quarters, she spends all of her time there, if she isn't sitting outside the med bay. And since you are here, I do not think she will be there."

A pang of guilt hit me. Liara did care, or had cared until today. I should have treated her better. What had happened planetside couldn't happen again, my heart would give out worrying and I'd drop dead right out of my chair. But she had done it for the right reasons. I nodded to Tyana to let her know I'd heard her, and coasted toward the elevator. Hopefully this talk would be a little quieter than the one we'd just finished, I didn't need the storyteller crew member to add it to their story list.

_Not that interesting of a chapter, just some fighting, but all I could get done today. More fighting in the next chapter! But then back to moving the story forward._


	17. Chapter 17

_Been a few days, sorry, I've been working quite a few hours. Thanks again to anyone that has left a review, you can't know how much I appreciate it.  
_

**Shepard**

I took off after Liara but didn't make it to the elevator until just as the doors whooshed closed. What could I expect after I'd just blown a couple minutes talking with Tyana? I hit the button and tattooed out an old military song with my fingers on my chair as I waited. What was taking so long?

"Commander, you have a huge amount of messages at your private terminal," Traynor said.

"What?" I turned to face her, probably looking like an idiot. "But everyone thinks I'm dead."

"Apparently they would like to thank you anyway," Traynor said gently.

The elevator door finally opened. How long had it actually been? Seventeen seconds? That meant she'd taken it down to the third deck. Probably headed to her room. "I'll read them later, Traynor, I have something I have to do."

"Of course, Commander."

I rolled onto the elevator and punched the button to go down to the third deck. I punched it again, and again when the elevator didn't instantly move. What was wrong with this thing today, why was it taking so long? Giving Liara time to stew was not a good idea. We needed to get this hashed out ASAP. Why was I thinking in so many food terms? Ugh, because I didn't want to concentrate. What was I going to tell Liara?

My heart started to pound in my chest, my hands sweating and my skin feeling clammy. I knew without a doubt that even if she was disgusted by my choice she would stick by me, but that wasn't what I wanted for her, not at all. I could barely stand to be around myself, how could I ask her to put up with me? No way I could. I would have to tell her she could be free.

The doors slid open, but I couldn't force myself to move my chair forward. I doubled over in my chair, putting my head between my useless knees and taking a couple deep gulps of air. Concentrate. Finish this. The elevator doors slid closed. I stayed in my uncomfortable position and hardly noticed when the elevator started down.

After a second, the doors reopened and there was Miranda, standing right in front of me. I jerked back up into a sitting position, but it was too late.

"Shepard?" Miranda asked. "Are you in pain?" Tali and Garrus, who were talking in the background, looked our way after hearing her.

I sat up, pretending everything was fine. "Ah, no. Just a little tired after a long day."

Miranda raised an eyebrow, but she didn't call me on my lie as she got on the lift with me. "Did you want off on this floor?"

"No."

She waited a second. "Which floor are you trying to get to?"

"Three."

She hit the button for the crew deck and leaned back against the wall. "Headed for the med bay?"

"I wish," I muttered under my breath.

"Not the med bay then," Miranda mused out loud. "Where else would you be going on three?" She thought for a second. "Ah. I know."

I squirmed in my chair, not doubting for a moment that she did know.

"She loves you, Shepard. Whatever it is you two are having problems over, just keep that in mind. You can work it out."

I glared. She shrugged. Was it that obvious? Probably to her, my doctor. The elevator door opened and she got off, gave me a little wave and headed for the med bay, probably to scheme with Chakwas over some new treatment for me. What did they have to do when I wasn't broken? Ha, like they really had a chance to find out in the last couple years.

It happened so slowly I hardly noticed, but somehow I drifted up to Liara's door. I tried to get back some of the anger toward her and the stunt she'd pulled, but I couldn't resurrect any of it. Like Miranda had said, she loved me. I knocked on the door, probably the first time I'd ever done that. No answer. I knocked again.

"Who is it?" Her voice had tears in it. Tears I'd caused. I leaned my head against the cool door. I wouldn't be able to do it. I would never be able to push her away. I was too selfish.

"It's me. Can I come in?"

She didn't answer me. Better than a straight up no, I guess.

"Liara?"

The door hadn't opened on its own, which meant it was locked. That couldn't stop me though, not on my own ship. I placed my palm on the manual override and the doors swished open.

Liara was in the back of the room, splayed out across her bed. She didn't acknowledge me as I rolled in.

"Hi," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "Can we talk?"

"I thought that's what we just did." Her voice was muffled by the pillow she had smashed against her face.

"No, I mean just talk."

She slowly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, using a hand to swipe off the tears still on her face. My heart clenched at the sight. They were my fault, every one of them. I reached forward and used my thumb to get a little moisture she'd missed on her right cheek.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

She looked down at her hands.

"Really, I am. I know you were protecting me."

"I know you want me to say I'm sorry too," her blue eyes met mine, starting my heart back up. "But I can't, Shepard. I would do the same thing over and over."

"You are the most amazing person I know." It came out as a whisper, though I wanted to shout it for the whole ship to hear. She really was. Even after she'd found out about me from Leviathan, she hadn't said anything about my betrayal of the geth. "I can't believe that you don't hate me, after what I did."

Liara blinked rapidly, looking dumbfounded. "Is that what this is about? Of course not. I could never hate you. Especially for something like that. You didn't have a choice."

"But I did have a choice. I could have chosen to control the Reapers, or to blend organics and synthetics. Either way the geth and EDI would have lived."

Her face knit up in an adorable confused expression. "Those are terrible choices, Shepard, how did that happen?"

I spent the next hour telling her about my time on the Citadel. I told her everything, about the Illusive Man, losing Anderson, the Catalyst and the choice I'd made. Amazingly, her expression never changed. "And so it was my fault. I killed EDI, who was always a good friend to me. And just as alive as any of the rest of us." I looked down to our hands, which somehow had become intertwined. She gave my hand a squeeze.

"I understand. Why we have to do this, now I understand."

Her eyes slowly turned from blue to black and I could feel the emotions rolling off her, pain because of my pain, joy that I had trusted her with this, fear, so much fear that something would happen to ruin what time the universe would give us.

"So what now?" I asked, fiddling with her fingers.

"Now I go explain to the doctors that they will no longer need to take shifts watching you at night. I think it's high time we moved back to our room."

I smiled, her love taking the edge off my guilt. No, things weren't perfect between us yet, but as soon as we finished this one last mission, they would be.


	18. Chapter 18

_Okay, I have something to admit. I haven't made it all the way through the second game yet. I started with the third, then bought the first and then the second, so if anything is inaccurate, someone please point it out to me. I think I'm about to the end, but it can be hard to tell. Also, if anyone has any story ideas or something (or someone) they'd like to see in the story, please let me know. Thanks for reading!_

**Liara**

"We have to!" The 'discussion' going on was starting to get a little heated.

"I want as few people as possible to know I'm alive. We don't need to be delayed. If people start finding out, they are going to expect all kinds of things from me. Nothing is going to get us off track."

While I did find it hard to believe we were going to get everything we needed from Earth without a few people finding out about Shepard still being here, I couldn't argue with her wanting to keep it a secret. The longer it took for the galaxy to find out, the longer I'd have her to myself, even if we were hunting a Reaper. I looked over at Ashley, who Shepard was arguing with. At least I'd have her to myself as much as I'd ever had. We really needed some time away from all this.

"Do you seriously think we can get enough non-perishable rations to get us to deep space and back without the Alliance knowing what's going on?" Ashley asked. "I don't think you understand how bad things are down there right now."

"I do understand." Shepard's tone was harsh, the harshest I'd ever heard her use with Williams.

Ashley ducked her head, her cheeks heating up. "Of course you do, Skipper. I'm sorry. And I understand why you want it this way, I just don't think it's going to happen."

"How do you suggest we go about getting what we need, Shepard?" I asked. Somehow she'd always gotten us everything we could possibly use before, including a massive amount of weapons that far exceeded the amount of crew we had. Thankfully I'd been able to stop her from taking every weapon from every corpse this time around.

"Hackett will give it to you," Shepard said. "You're the bloody crew of the Normandy, they should give you anything you ask for."

"He wasn't really keen on getting us the diving mech without a good reason," Ashley answered. " I don't think the whole crew of the Normandy is going to fly a second time. And he isn't going to let us go AWOL for a couple months for no good reason."

Shepard sighed. "Fine. Hackett can know, but that's it. And only that I'm alive, I don't want him knowing about the Reaper yet."

"You got it, Skipper. I still think you need to tell him, just in case we don't make it back. But that's up to you." Ashley bounded to her feet and headed toward the briefing room, probably to try to get in contact with Hackett. We would be within range of Earth before the hour was over.

"You know he's going to want to talk with you," I said.

Shepard sighed again, this one even larger than the first. "I know. We might as well head that way too."

I walked beside her chair back toward the comm array. We'd been doing well the last couple days. Our relationship wasn't back to fully functioning yet, but it was on its way. As every time we tried to get anywhere, it took forever. Each member of the crew vied for Shepard's attention. Once we finally made it through the scanners, I could hear a familiar male voice. Ashley must have gotten through.

"This had better not be a joke of some kind, Williams. I'm having a hard enough time convincing people that the Normandy is fine with you jetting off into space without orders, and now you're telling me you found Shepard? Is that what you needed the mech for?"

Shepard squeezed my knee and then moved into Hackett's view.

"Shepard?" it came out as a whisper.

"Yeah, it's me. And the diving mech was for me too, don't bother Williams about that."

The hologram of the admiral didn't answer, just stood there with its mouth open.

"Is there somewhere we can meet? There are a couple things I need to talk to you about."

"Of course," Hackett's voice sounded teary. "As soon as you can. I'll have rendezvous coordinates sent to the Normandy. How are you doing? Where did the Normandy find you?" Hackett looked at her chair and started to say more, but stopped himself.

"I'll answer all your questions face to face. I'd rather not talk about this over a comm channel, no matter how secure. For now I'd like to keep the fact that I'm alive a secret. Can we meet you somewhere near Earth?"

Wise. Not likely that any group would have recovered enough from the Reaper attack to be listening in on chatter, but not impossible.

"Yes, I'll be waiting," Hackett said. He didn't do his usual Hackett out, but made Shepard end the call on her side.

I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to feel what was going on inside her. She looked washed out, exhausted from this short conversation. She was about to be forced to face the world again after just a short reprieve. There was no way the Alliance could keep the fact that she was alive a secret for long, no matter how careful we were. So far none of the crew on the Normandy had been allowed to make any off ship communications, but that had to end eventually. The world would find out. But Shepard wouldn't have to face it alone.

**Liara **

The Normandy had docked a few minutes ago against a huge dreadnought. I moved in closer to Shepard, who was sitting off to the side of the airlock, nervously picking at her dress uniform. I bumped her chair with my foot, just hard enough to get her attention. She looked up, startled, then smiled. I smiled back.

The airlock hissed and the door opened. "Admiral Hackett aboard," one of the crew members announced. A shadow crossed Shepard's face. It should have been EDI making that announcement.

Hackett stepped on board alone, his gaze moved across the ship until he found Shepard. He froze for a second, like he wasn't sure what to do. I tried to hold back a smirk. The ever confident Admiral was unsure of himself. He walked forward slowly and stopped right in front of Shepard. After a second he bent down and gave her a short hug.

"We all thought you were really gone this time."

"Oh, Admiral, it only took her two weeks to come back from the dead this time, not two years. You should be grateful," Joker said from where he was leaning against the wall in the aisle that went to the cockpit.

"I am grateful," Hackett said, and his face split into a huge grin. "Very."

"You better be grateful to Liara, she's the one that pushed until we found the Commander. I didn't see you out looking."

"Moreau!" Shepard snapped.

"Just saying what we're all thinking, Commander."

He had a point, though I didn't like him bringing me up in front of the Admiral. Hackett looked properly chastised.

"We just didn't have the resources. I was afraid there was nothing left of you, after what happened to the Citadel. But there have been groups of civilians all over the world doing their own searches for your body. You're one popular woman, Shepard. We have a little surprise planned for you tonight, a get together, celebrating the end of the Reapers."

Shepard's face tightened almost imperceptibly. If I didn't know her so well, I never would have noticed. Hackett didn't even blink, just continued.

"It starts at 1900 hours. Before that maybe we could have a briefing?" He was asking her. The most powerful man of the human race was asking Shepard nicely if she would explain what had happened up there. I smiled. Of course he was asking. She was the hero of the galaxy. And she was mine.

"I would rather not attend, but thank you, Admiral. As I said before, I'd rather no one knew I was back for now."

Hackett reached back and rubbed his neck, looking very uncomfortable. "About that. It seems that there's already been a leak. We aren't sure if it was from your ship or ours." He walked over to a vid screen and turned it on, flipping to the news. Diana Allers popped onto the screen, behind her was a huge picture of Shepard's face.

"Shoot," I heard Shepard whisper. Diana was going on about the rumors of Shepard being found, grinning like a crazy woman.

"Didn't this reporter tell you she was out there somewhere? Commander, if you're listening to this right now, we're all waiting for you to come home. This is Diana Allers for Battlespace, check back often for updates."

Shepard groaned.

"She's been the one coordinating the search efforts," Hackett said, hitting the power button for the screen. "I think you have a real fan there." Shepard didn't answer him. The rest of the crew was being very quiet also. I looked around at all their faces. Had one of them leaked the news to Allers that Shepard was alive? "Why don't you come on board the Cape Town and have some time to yourself before the debriefing." I almost laughed. He still thought Shepard would be doing a real debriefing.

"Thank you for the offer, sir, but I'm quite comfortable aboard the Normandy. We do need to talk though, and privately."

"As you wish, Commander. I'll give you some time and be back at 1645. We can have that talk and then head over to the celebration. The crew has outdone themselves getting things together. I better check on things." Hackett snapped a salute and left. For him to leave Shepard alone and not force an instant debriefing showed the respect he had for her. Maybe he wasn't the most powerful human in history after all, if he was allowing her to be in control.

The crew took Hackett's departure as a go ahead to get back to their duties and wandered off. After a minute, I ran a hand through Shepard's hair, trying to get her come back from wherever her mind was

"I'm not doing it, Liara."

"Doing what?" I asked. She'd lost me.

"Going to that party."

"Why not? I know you don't enjoy that type of thing, but if you go, you'll be done. People will get the chance to get over the fact that you're still alive while we're gone, and maybe things won't be as bad when we get back."

"We don't have time. That Reaper could be dangerous. Is dangerous. We need to get going."

I raised an eyebrow. She wasn't being honest, I could feel it.

She glanced at me, gauging if I thought she was telling the truth or not, then her shoulders slumped and she seemed to fold into herself. "I just can't go. How can I go to a victory celebration when EDI won't be there? We can have our party when we get back. Or you can all have it right no without me, I don't care."

Of course. How could I have missed that? "Have a victory party without the one that saved the galaxy? I don't think so." I leaned in, trying to not let the crew overhear. "I'm sure EDI would understand. We all know how you feel about parties, it isn't like you'd be going to enjoy yourself."

"I'm not going at all," she said, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. There was no changing her mind when she got like this.

"Fine. But you do need to talk to Hackett so we can get the huge amount of rations we're going to need. And he might have an idea about how to handle fuel as well."

She nodded grudgingly. "You're right. What do you want to do until 1700?"

"Don't you think we should give Hackett some warning that he might want to cancel his party?"

Shepard started rolling toward the elevator. "Yes, I'll have Traynor do it."

I fell in beside her, keeping pace with her chair. It actually moved at an uncomfortably fast pace. "Where are we going?"

Shepard punched the elevator button. "To your office. We have a lot of planning to do." No matter how guilty she felt, I couldn't help but wish she'd allow herself a break. She'd had the week it took us to find her to rest, but that wasn't enough after the years of craziness she'd been through.

"Fine. But you're taking a nap before Hackett comes back for us."

She grinned up at me, that saucy know it all smirk I'd been missing. "Only if someone joins me."

"Oh? Were you expecting someone?" I teased.

The elevator doors opened and she moved in without checking to see if I was following. I was, of course.

"Just the most amazing person born ever in the entire history of everything."

"I thought you said you wanted someone to join you? It's slightly egotistical to talk about yourself that way, Shepard, even if it is true."

She laughed, making my heart nearly burst from my chest with the joy of seeing her almost happy. "You're just trying to get out of it, but I'm serious. You look as tired as I feel."

I was tired. Very tired. The first two nights back in Shepard's cabin I hadn't slept more than an hour at a time, afraid something would go wrong with Shepard and I wouldn't notice. And it wasn't like I'd slept much before that, when she had been missing. "I believe you're right."

"Of course I am. I know you."

I raised an eyebrow, something I was doing more and more often. These human habits were wearing off on me.

"Fine. But you can't be grumpy about not getting anything done if you make me take a nap with you."

"Deal. I'll save being grumpy for Hackett."

Poor man. He'd been so happy to see her. He might change his mind tonight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Shepard**

"Is this straight?" I asked Liara for the fifteenth time. She stuck her head out of the bathroom and looked my way, and for the fifteenth time she humored me.

"It looks perfectly straight to me, Shepard."

I tugged at my collar again, hating the feeling of my dress uniform. No matter how often I had to wear it, it never felt comfortable. Especially compared to some of the sets of armor I'd worn. My stomach twinged at the thought. I'd probably never wear armor again. But then, hopefully I'd never need too. Somehow we'd get this Reaper to tell us how to fix all the synthetics, then the Normandy would blow it up, simple as that. Ugh, if only it could be at that easy.

As much as I hated dressing up like this, I had to show Hackett I was still military materiel. Sure, he'd seen me in this stupid chair, but this meeting was different, official. I looked over at Liara, only able to make out her calves as she leaned in close to the mirror.

What was I doing, putting her in danger again? She'd followed me through so much, the whole crew had. Was it really fair to ask them to risk their lives to possibly, a big possibly, save the geth? Joker would go, as long as there was any chance of bringing EDI back. And Liara would go of course, if I was going. If I knew that this would save EDI, there would be no question. But it was such a slim chance…

"Everything all right, Shepard?" Liara asked, straightening out the sleeves of beautiful white outfit she was wearing. Here I'd been in my own little world again, and hadn't noticed her walking over.

"Yes. Are you ready?"

She cocked her head, clearly not believing me. "Yes, I am ready." Another reason I loved this woman, she knew when to let things go.

"Commander," Traynor's voice said over the comm. "Admiral Hackett is here to escort you."

"Clear. Be down in a minute."

"He does know about the party, right?" Liara asked as we moved toward the elevator.

"Yes, Sam handled it. I don't think he was very happy about the whole thing, but he's just going to have to get over it. I'm thinking it would be better to have this meeting here, on the Normandy. Less chances for me to run into people."

Liara laughed and hit the button for the elevator.

"What?" I asked. What had I said to make her giggle like that?

"I find that fact that you can tell an Admiral to get over something very funny."

I moved into the elevator, a slight smile breaking free. "So? You've got more power than either of us, you just choose to hide it."

"Not anymore, Shepard. We'll see if I'm able to rebuild after all of this. See if I even want to."

She looked so sad. I reached up and took her hand. "Why wouldn't you want to?"

Blue eyes stared down at me, so intense. "Hopefully I will have better things to do."

Her words sent a shiver through me and the smile grew. The elevator down slid open and I moved off, over to Traynor.

"He's waiting in the airlock," she said.

"You left the Admiral waiting in the airlock?" I asked, my voice squeaking a little.

"Yes. This is your ship Commander, he can board when you say he can."

I sighed. People were getting a little two comfortable with me being the hero of the galaxy. We were still a part of the Alliance. While it was polite for a higher ranking officer to ask permission to board, it wasn't often they were kept waiting.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ready," Sam said quietly.

I nodded. "Thank you."

"And I did those calculations for you. Based on the length of time it took the Reapers to get here after you destroyed the Collector base, I would say it will take us just over month to get to where we should start looking. That's assuming they spent some time repairing after the relay exploded. And that this Reaper hasn't moved much."

"Thanks Traynor, nice work." That gave me an idea of the supplies we would need.

She blushed. "Just basic math."

"Can you get together a list of essentials for a crew of nine for a four month span? That'll tell me what to ask for from Hackett."

"Nine?" Liara asked from behind me. "Is that enough people to crew the Normandy?"

"It will be exhausting, but yes. I'm only taking absolutely essential crew on this one."

Liara lifted an eyebrow at me, saying she had better be on that list. I nodded and she relaxed. As much as I'd love to keep her out of this, keep all of them out of this, some of them it would be impossible to do without.

"What are you thinking Traynor? Do you want to be part of the group that goes where no man has gone before? I hate to ask you to do this, but Joker may need help since EDI isn't online to do some of his work. "

She looked surprised. "Of course, Shepard. Wherever you go, the rest of us will go."

"Clear." I kept it short, not wanting her to hear any of the emotion in my voice. "Get me that list. And say your goodbyes to anyone you want to, there's a good chance we won't be coming back."

Traynor straightened and saluted. I saluted back.

As we moved toward the airlock together, Liara leaned in close to me. "She had better learn to hide her feelings a little better or I might start to get jealous."

"Are you crazy?" I laughed. "Who would want a cripple in a chair?" Oops. Thunder and lightning appeared on Liara's face, steam practically rolling from her ears. For the first time I was almost glad I was in a chair. She wouldn't hurt an invalid, would she?

"By the Goddess, Shepard, if you ever say-"

"Oh look, there's the Admiral." I rushed past her, trying to get out of the line of fire. The airlock had swooshed open reavealing the Admiral standing at parade rest, no doubt Traynor's way of making sure this little squabble didn't turn into an all out fight.

"Shepard," Hackett said, a huge smile on his face, stepping onto the CIC deck. Even with all this guy had put me through, I knew he cared. And more than just cared that the hero was alive. I would stop short at calling us friends, but the past couple years had made us into something.

"Sorry to change plans on you, Admiral, but I was hoping we might be able to have our meeting here on the Normandy."

"I thought you may end up asking that, after I received the message from Traynor about missing the party. Lead on."

The three of us were quiet as we moved past the crew, who all stood at attention. It was strange for Hackett to not have any of his officers with him, but a nice surprise. He probably knew I wouldn't want them around.

I stopped at the briefing room, but Hackett walked past me into the War Room. He didn't say anything for a bit, just looking around. "Still strange seeing it from this side. Not that I could see much past you anyway."

"It would be strange, sir." I appreciated him giving us a moment without pressing me. Discussing what had happened on the Citadel had been hard enough with Liara. Nothing was going to come out right with Hackett, I just couldn't yet. Things were still too raw.

After one last sweep of the room, Hackett came back to where Liara and I were hanging out in the doorway. We made our way over to the briefing room and Liara and Hackett pulled chairs up to the table.

"So…" Hackett said, for once at a loss for words.

"I pushed the button on the Citadel, the Reapers blew up, the beam knocked out my cybernetics, making me a cripple. Does that cover everything?"

Hackett blinked at me. "Um, yes? I'm sorry about Anderson. I know you two were close."

A wave of nausea hit me. He had to bring that up. I'd been keeping myself together about that fairly well, hadn't even talked about it with Liara. Another death that had been, to some extent, my fault. I had pulled the trigger. I should have shot the Illusive man the second I'd seen him.

"He was the best CO a person could ask for," my voice was rough. _Keep it together, keep it together._

"How long ago did the Normandy find you?"

"Not long," Liara answered smoothly when I didn't respond.

"Is there anything that the Alliance can do for you? That I can do for you personally? The best doctors on Earth will be clambering for a chance to work with the great Commander Shepard. I'm sure that with enough time, we could get you back on your feet."

"Actually, there is something I need from you. But it isn't that." I leaned forward over the table. "I need to get away for a bit. Now that everyone knows I'm still alive, there isn't anywhere on Earth I could go to get away from everything. Would it be possible for you to get me enough MRE's to last a skeleton crew a few months? Just til things settle down?"

"Of course, Shepard, anything you want. Just get me a list." He stared me straight in the eye. "The galaxy will be waiting for you when you get back. Everything you can dream of will be provided, I promise. And if you are only leaving to get away, I can assure you that we can find you somewhere to rest for a couple weeks until you are ready. You don't have to leave."

I closed my eyes, uncomfortable with lying to the man who'd always believed in me. But I didn't really have a choice. If I told him what my real plans were, he'd send an army with me, and I wouldn't risk all those lives. Or risk the chance that we would find the Reaper and it would be destroyed before I had a chance to force it to tell me how to bring back EDI. A small warm hand slid into mine under the table, grounding me. She had no idea what she meant to me.

"Thank you, sir. I'll come back as soon as I'm able, but I really feel like this is something I need to do. If it isn't too much to ask, could I leave my extra crew aboard your ship?"

"Take the crew of the Normandy aboard?" Hackett laughed. "That will cause quite a stir. But that's fine. Let the soldiers get a chance to meet their heroes. Alright then. If there isn't anything too unusual on your list, I should be able to have it ready by tomorrow morning." He stood. "That also gives you a chance to consider staying. People everywhere will want to thank you. And while not everyone understands the extent of what you gave, some us do, and we will be eternally grateful."

His stay had been short, but we really didn't have much to discuss and he still had a party to attend, even if I'd refused to go. If I made it back from deep space, I had no doubt that he would want more details about what had happened up on the Citadel, but I couldn't begin to describe how thankful I was that he didn't push. And he hadn't asked about the geth. Only slightly surprising considering that most races disliked them.

I moved to escort Hackett off the Normandy, but he waved me off. I slid back in next to Liara and the table.

"You told Traynor nine. Who is coming with us?"

"My pick would be Tali, Joker, Garrus, Chakwas and Traynor. But I won't force any of them to go."

"Like you would have to, Shepard. Traynor already made that clear for her. Good choices. We need an engineer, a pilot and a doctor at the very least."

"And Traynor needs to take EDI's place as much as she can."

"What about the rest of the rations?"

"Extras, just in case. We can't know how long we'll be gone. My biggest worry is fuel, Traynor is looking into for me." At some point Liara had grabbed my hand again. She was drawing little circles on it with her thumb. Somehow the lack of feeling in the rest of my body made what I could feel so much more profound, so special. I tried not to let it distract me. "I'll go talk to them. I wish there was another way."

"But there isn't." Liara stood, bent over and kissed me on the top of my head. "I'll let you say your goodbyes. There are some things I need to check on as well."

"Have you heard from Aethyta?" Liara's face fell and I instantly felt bad.

"No. I'll try again."

She turned to leave but I grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "I'm sure she's fine."

"Thank you, Shepard." She gave me a little smile and shook her wrist free, then left.

What was she up to? Just looking for her father? I sighed. She wouldn't tell me until she was good and ready. She never did. Time to stop stalling and let the crew that wouldn't be going with us board the Cape Town. They deserved some peace, and some partying.

_Thanks to everyone who is still reading! And as always, many thanks to anyone that has followed, favorited or reviewed. Every time I see one of those things happen it sends me on a writing spree :)_


	20. Chapter 20

**Shepard**

Sending the lower ranking crew members off had gone pretty well. None of them had seemed too happy about being left behind, but none of them threw too big of a fit either, nothing that a glare from their commander hadn't stopped right in its tracks. The Normandy was beginning to feel empty.

I moved away from the airlock and headed over to Traynor. She glanced up from her screen.

"Hey, Commander. I found a small fuel depot, mostly used by pirates out on the galaxy rim. As far as I can tell, that will be the last place to refuel."

"Thanks, Traynor. Have you seen Tyana? She's the next one I want to send off." This was going to be a hard one. Something told me she wasn't going to like being left behind. I'd sent Hackett a message explaining a little bit about who she was without telling him how I knew her, and he'd instantly replied that he would take care of things. Two of the ensigns she seemed to get along with the best were waiting right outside the Normandy to keep her company until she got to know others on the Cape Town.

"She was following Chakwas around last time I saw her, let me check."

I zoned out while she called down to Chakwas. Until last week I would have just asked the air where to find her and EDI would have had an instant answer. It wasn't just guilt I was feeling. I missed her. Really missed her. And not just for the useful stuff like tracking down crew members.

"She's headed up from the med bay," Traynor said.

"Thanks." She'd been spending a lot of time with Chakwas. Maybe she would be interested in going into medicine. I waited a moment for the elevator to reach the CIC deck. The door opened and Tyana hopped off, looking incredibly excited.

"Shepard! You wanted to see me?"

Ok, now I felt even worse about leaving her behind. But she had no practical use and would need rations. There wasn't an option here. "Yes. Tyana, I appreciate everything you've done, but I think it might be best if you stayed behind on this one. Hackett will get you anything you want."

Her face fell, the excitement instantly gone. "I will not stay here, Shepard. I have made friends on your ship. I don't know anyone here."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but there just really isn't a choice. This mission is dangerous and I'm not taking any nonessential personnel. I'm sorry."

Her sad, sad eyes met mine. She looked crushed. Why did I feel so bad when I was trying to protect her? We hadn't been able to talk much lately, but she had saved me in more ways than one. Made me feel human again after waking up unable to move my legs. Got me back to my crew. I owed her so much and I wasn't going to repay that debt by dragging her off into space to get killed.

"I cannot change your mind?" asked.

I shook my head.

She bent over to hug me in my chair. I patted her arm awkwardly and she took off, eyes suspiciously shiny.

I looked over at Traynor, who was staring at me. "What?"

"Ah, nothing."

"Fine." I didn't have the energy to argue. "Up next, Williams. Where's Ash right now?"

"Why don't you just head back to the briefing room, Commander? I'll send Williams to you and you can let me know who you'd like to talk to after you're done with her."

My first reaction was a resolute no. But it wasn't quite as easy making the rounds to check on everyone now. And the briefing room was much more private than trying to talk to everyone wherever they were when I found them. "Fine."

Ash walked into the briefing room only a minute after I'd made it to the table.

"What up, Skipper?" she asked, dropping into a chair.

"You know where we're going." I cut right to the chase. She nodded. "Then you know there is a good chance we won't be coming back." She nodded again. "Ash, I think it's best you stay here. You have a family."

"Not a chance, Skipper." Her expression didn't change at all. "How are you going to get your three man team if I'm not here?"

I winced inside. She wasn't going to take this well. "I'm hoping Garrus and Liara."

Ashley raised an eyebrow. Was that where Liara had gotten the very human expression? "That doesn't change anything. You still need me along to complete your squad." Her eyes moved pointedly to my chair.

I heaved in a breath. "I can still lead a squad."

Ash crossed her arms and glared. "Even if that's true," she held up a hand to stop me from speaking, "There's always the chance someone will get injured. You need a backup."

"There is a good chance we won't need a squad. It's not like we'll be landing on the Reaper, we might not make it off the Normandy this entire mission."

Ashley shrugged. "Always be prepared, right? What happens if you're forced to land somewhere? You want people getting killed because you don't have an extra gun on board?"

Ugh. She was probably right. "Fine. You do know what our chances are though, right?"

"Slim to nothing." She grinned. "It won't be the first time I followed you to certain death." She smiled, taking the sting out of her words. "And Garrus is already planning on coming. We've been talking."

I sighed. What was with all the mutiny lately? "Let Traynor know we'll need the extra rations. I already had her plan for nine, but I want to make sure we're covered."

Ash saluted. "Yes, Commander." She put her hand down and winked. "I knew you'd see it my way eventually." And she took off, leaving me with my mouth open. Okay, this chair was causing lots of problems. She wouldn't have done that before I became a cripple, would she?

"Traynor, I'm ready for Miranda, Vega or Cortez, whichever one is the least busy."

"Coming right up," Traynor answered.

The next three conversations went as I'd expected them to. Miranda was pretty unhappy, but when I brought up the fact that she needed to take care of Ori, she backed off. The talks with Cortez and Vega went about the same. Vega finally agreed to stay, he was excited about the N7 program. Cortez was a little more difficult. He had nothing to stay for. But in the end he'd reluctantly agreed.

Finally I got to speak with Chakwas, who told me that even if I'd asked her to stay behind, it wasn't going to happen. This insubordination didn't surprise me, I'd expected it from her. She had just left when my comm beeped. Liara.

"Shepard? How is it going?"

"I'm done. The crew is set. We can leave as soon as Hackett gets us our supplies."

"Good. I may have found a solution to the fuel problem." Her voice rose in excitement. I let myself smile since she wasn't here to see me laugh. She was so cute when she was excited. "The scanner will be able to find natural resources for us on uncharted planets. I believe that, with Joker's help, I was able to find some equipment we can change to refine it for our use. We will just have to stop and pick it up."

"And where are we making this little stop?"

"Omega."

**Liara**

Shepard had said all of her individual goodbyes. Vega and Cortez had come and wished me luck, then disappeared onto the SSV Cape Town. It was strange seeing them go, like leaving family behind. I understood Shepard's reasoning, but that didn't mean I liked it.

Crew members from the Cape Town had been streaming back and forth for the last hour, making checks on the Normandy and loading supplies. The first ten minutes had been terrible. Shepard was hiding up in her cabin, so the rest of us were bearing the brunt of the crew's attention. Apparently just the fact that we had flown in on the Normandy was enough to make us heroes, on a much lesser scale than Shepard, of course, but enough to get quite a few stares.

Finally all the tests were finished. They were necessary after the Normandy had crashed, but I just wanted them to be done. If all the extra crew hadn't been aboard, I might have enjoyed the forced rest, but it was just to strange to look up and have people whispering every time. The Cape Town crew started to trickle off the Normandy, leaving things very quiet. Strangely quiet, with only the few of us here that were making the trip.

"Is that the last of them?" Tali asked from behind me. I hadn't heard the elevator. It wasn't often she left the engineering deck, she was probably shooing away extra crew members.

"I think so. One last check and we can get under way."

"It's about time," Joker yelled back from the cockpit. "I thought we were going to be stuck here all night."

"The ship is clear of all extra personnel," Traynor said from her panel. "All of the cards they scanned before stepping on board have been scanned on the way off. Shepard has been notified and has set our course for Omega." Traynor paused. "Wait, Omega?"

"Yes, we have to stop and get some equipment there," I answered.

"Okay, Omega it is."

"Alright then, let's get this show on the road!" Joker crowed. "Or, you know, the spaceways. Whatever."


	21. Chapter 21

_Okay, to get motivated I told myself I had to write a hundred words for every chapter of someone else's work that I read on this site. That's rough, there are so many good stories here! But it's getting the job done :) Any suggestions on the story or on how to improve my writing, please let me know. I'd like to be published someday, so I need to hear where I get things wrong, that way I can try to avoid doing it in my original work. Thanks!_

**Shepard**

Of all the crappy places to go in the galaxy, this was one of the worst. I had no doubt that Liara had done her research and that this was the best place to get the machinery she needed, but that didn't make it any better. No doubt Aria knew the Normandy was here by now. We were just docking, but that didn't matter, she probably heard about our approach when we'd left the relay.

Hopefully she thought I was dead and wouldn't have any reason to bug the rest of the crew. Or maybe she was still back near Earth, causing trouble after helping save the planet. I'd go with that one until proved wrong.

Liara, Garrus and Ash were over by the airlock. Garrus was just standing there, looking as stoic as ever. Liara was staring off into the wall, no doubt figuring out the best way to get what she needed on Omega. Ash was fiddling with her pistol, snapping the button that held it in her holster open and closed, open and closed. At least this hadn't changed. Each of them was handling pre-mission jitters exactly the same as always.

"Normandy SR-2, you've been cleared," a voice crackled over the comm. Aria had gotten paranoid after Omega had been taken from her by Cerberus, now not only did you need permission to dock, but also permission to leave your ship.

"Clear," Joker answered the voice.

"See if you can get rations to replace the ones we ate on the way here," I told Liara. She nodded. We hadn't gone through many, but might as well restock while we could.

"You can board any time," Joker yelled back to us. Well, then. I didn't like the fact that I wasn't on the squad leaving the ship, but I couldn't risk being recognized. Not that I liked visiting Omega that much, but sending my people to do my job rubbed me the wrong way. Liara glanced my way, then her gaze stopped on me. Her face asked what was wrong. I shrugged and she rolled her eyes.

Garrus reached forward and punched the button for the airlock. The three of them left, not even looking back, just intent on getting the job done. "Good luck!" I called after them. None of them seemed to hear me. So this was what it was like being the one left to 'guard' the ship. It sucked.

** Liara**

Pretending not to know what was bothering Shepard hadn't gotten her to open up at all. So far she'd only seemed upset about EDI and the geth, something I would expect from a person like her. But somewhere deep inside, she was panicking about being in that chair. Us leaving her behind would have been the perfect reason for her to get upset, but I suppose she could have convinced herself that it was only because she didn't want anyone confirming she was still alive.

"This is kinda weird," Ashely said from behind me.

"What is?" Garrus asked.

"Being on Omega without the skipper."

"You're right about that," Garrus said, and I nodded my agreement.

We walked for a bit in silence, taking a tunnel to the right headed for the shops near Afterlife.

"Just so we know, who's in charge now?" Ashley, again. "I mean, I'm a Spectre and the highest ranking Alliance officer here, but Garrus is super high in his species and Liara, well, we all know what you are."

Some secret identity I had. Not only did the crew all know since Shepard had helped me get the previous Shadow Broker, but the entire galaxy would know if she didn't quiet down. Information like that was worth huge sums, I should know. As for her first question, there was no way I was taking orders from her.

"We should have discussed this with Shepard before we left." Garrus sounded grumpy, like he always did when he wasn't sure about something.

"I vote Liara. We all know that's who Shepard would pick." Surprising, coming from Ashley Williams.

"Liara it is, then," Garrus said.

Not exactly what I would have expected, and not exactly something I would want, but it was better than Ashley being in charge for sure. Garrus would probably be fine, but he wasn't the best negotiator.

"How about I make the decisions, but Garrus leads in combat?"

They were both quiet for a few steps mulling that over. It was only logical. I fought more defensively, and Garrus had far more training than I did. While I worked at dig sites the last fifty years, he'd been doing the normal turian thing and studying all things combat.

"Good thinking," Ashley said. Good thing she wasn't allowing pride to enter into this, Garrus just really was the most qualified.

We were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn't noticed the tunnel was blocked by several armed men until we were almost within shooting distance. Great. My first chance to try out my leader skills.

"Keep calm," I whispered to the other two before striding forward like I was headed into a restaurant, not a blockade. Aria really was being paranoid if this was another one of her precautions. If it wasn't, hopefully it didn't have anything to do with Archangel. Bringing Garrus along probably hadn't been the best thing to do on Omega.

**Shepard**

Grr, what was taking them so long? I glanced down at the clock on my omni-tool for the twentieth time. Two minutes. It'd been two minutes since the last time I'd checked, which had been four minutes since the time before that. Twenty-seven minutes in total.

Some jammer had been set up, so we couldn't talk with the ground team. Sam was working on it, but who knew how long it would take without EDI.

I hit the button on my chair and moved down the tunnel toward the cockpit, then spun around and went back. Pacing just wasn't the same like this.

"Hey, Commander, slow down," Joker called from his seat up front. Is this what he normally did while I was groundside? Just sit around? I didn't dignify him with an answer, just moved back close to the airlock. There wasn't even anyone to distract me right now. Traynor was working hard on hacking through to the squad, Chakwas wasn't around and Joker had only lasted about five minutes before I'd told him to buzz off. I looked at the time again. Only one minute? No way.

_Liara, if you got yourself into some kind of trouble, I'm gonna…_ What? What could I do? I growled and started toward Traynor. The Normandy had already been refueled, as soon as the team got back and Liara's equipment got loaded, we could head out. If the team got back. No, no, no thinking like that. Really, what trouble could they run into. I dropped my face into my hands. Considering previous experience with Omega, just about any type of trouble a person could think of.

The door on the other side of the airlock dinged, announcing someone coming on board. I rolled back to the door and smacked the door release button. About time. The door slid open, revealing not one, but two blue beauties. One much more beautiful than the other of course.

"Shepard," the second asari said with a smirk.

"Aria." I was going to kill them. So much for being worried about the three of them, they were all as good as dead. What part of Omega not finding out I was alive didn't they understand? Aria T'Loak pretty much was Omega, as she was fond of saying.

Aria moved past me onto the Normandy and paused to take a look around. "Not exactly what I'd been expecting out of the famous Normandy." She whirled around to face me. "You sure aren't good at staying dead, Shepard."

I snorted. "Yeah. I figured that one out myself." My gaze shifted to my guilty looking team. "What's she doing here?"

Aria laughed and walked over to one of the empty chairs at the consoles along the wall. She dropped into it and spun to face me, draping herself over the chair. "I just wanted to check on you, for old times sake. Everyone's heard the rumors that you were jetting around in the Normandy again."

Everyone? I ground my teeth in frustration. If the rumors had made it all the way to Omega, she was probably right. Everyone in the galaxy knew. A bunch of people I really didn't want to know, including, but not limited to, Cerberus. Were they a threat with the Illusive Man gone? Surely he'd had a second in command. So far they'd been quiet, but how long would that last?

"There was no keeping her away, Shepard. Not if we wanted the equipment we need," Liara said quietly.

Aria laughed again. "Or if you'd like to leave port at any point."

"Fine. What do you want, Aria."

She leaned forward in her chair, resting her arm on her thigh. "Just the truth. Truly, I just wanted to know if you'd made it." She seemed sincere. We'd never been friends, but we had spent a lot of time together taking back Omega. Maybe she had just been curious. I wasn't crazy enough to believe she cared, but I could see curious.

"Well here I am. Now what?"

She slapped her leg and stood. "Now we see about that equipment you need. I had one of my guys look over Liara's plans from her omni-tool, he says everything looks good." She reached over and put a hand on Liara's arm, nearly causing me to run my chair into her leg. I restrained myself. We didn't want to get stuck here because I lost control.

"Liara had everything correct, of course." Aria said. "What else could be expected of a daughter of Matriarch Benezia?" Liara stiffened and my hand twitched on the control for my chair. "I have men collecting what you need. You'll have to pay for it of course, but this will keep your people from wandering all over Omega. Bad for business. I don't suppose you'd like to tell me what you need this stuff for?"

"Not a chance."

Aria smirked. "I didn't think so. That's all I needed though, I'll be on my way." She walked most of the way to the airlock and paused. "And Shepard, just for the record as you humans like to say, I'm glad you cheated death again. Death doesn't become you." And she was gone.

**Shepard**

It took nearly two hours for all of the parts to arrive, and another hour for Liara, Garrus and Sam to assemble them into what looked like the biggest pile of junk ever. Most of the parts hadn't looked too good on their own, now it just looked like a refuse heap waiting for the incinerator.

The first fifteen minutes had been comical. Then I started to get bored. This engineering crap had never been my style. Eventually Liara proudly announced that it was ready to be tested. They ran as many tests as they could and Traynor said that she was sure it would work on the real thing. Pretty sure. With no way to actually try it out here on Omega, the plan was to hit a nearby planet and see what it could do. About time.

We hadn't been able to leave then either, we had to wait another hour until the Alliance credits for the junk cleared with Aria. Yep, we definitely weren't friends. Now the Normandy was hovering in the atmosphere of the closest planet to Omega. Garrus had piloted the now modified shuttle down and picked up the raw material, his driving making me wish we'd brought Cortez along. And all of them had made fun of how I drove the Mako.

I made it down to the shuttle bay in time to watch Garrus roll a barrel off the shuttle. "Hey, Shepard," he said, and went back up the ramp to get another.

"Let's get this thing fired up!" Traynor said from where she was leaned over their machine. She hit a button and the thing coughed to life, sending dust particles up to cloud the air, making the rest of us cough as well.

"Does this mean… you're ready… to get moving?" I got out between coughs.

"We can't know for sure that it will work, it may be better to wait and make sure before leaving easy access to Omega and extra parts," Liara answered.

"What are the chances it will work?" I hated to disappoint her, but this thing hardly looked able to continue running, let alone convert raw materials into fuel.

"That's hard to say, Shepard, since there isn't another one like it anywhere that I know of."

"Traynor?" I barked.

"Ninety-eight percent?"

"That sounds like a question. I don't like questions."

"Ninety-seven percent, Commander."

I nodded. "Joker," I said into my comm.

"Yeah, Commander?"

"Take us out. Follow Specialist Traynor's projected travel pattern for the Reapers."

"Clear, Commander."

Finally. Finally, we were truly on the way to righting my biggest mistake. Every hour we wasted here gave the Reaper more time to move around. Time to finish this, for real.

_Thanks for continuing to read this story! Off into deep space this next chapter. Please let me know if you have any ideas about where you'd like to see this story go._


	22. Chapter 22

_This whole incentive thing is working pretty well! Two chapters in one day!_

**Shepard**

Where was Joker? I rubbed at my eyes, trying to keep them open. It was forty minutes past when he was supposed to be back to take over in the cockpit. Luckily the auto-pilot still functioned fine without EDI, but there still needed to be someone here in case of problems. With our luck, we were about due for some problems to crop up, so far everything had gone fairly well. I tapped my lips, _stay awake, stay awake_.

"Sorry, Commander," I nearly fell out of my chair at the sound of Joker's voice. Shoot, had he seen me with my eyes closed? "I thought I heard something down on the crew deck. I was just having a look around real quick."

"Heard something? What kind of something?"

Joker limped in and dropped into his seat. "I don't know, I just never heard it before. Probably some normal sound that I don't usually hear because of the rest of the crew. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Nope." Nothing had happened at all. We'd spent the last two days in this pattern. Pretty soon we would be out of range of the Alliance comms.

The last few hours in the cockpit had been strange. Nice, but strange. I'd never done this before. Just relaxed in space. It was so much larger than I'd ever thought. The galaxy had felt so weak, fragile, when it was resting on my shoulders. And now it was huge again. But I was getting tired of just sitting here doing nothing. And there was something I had to do.

"Joker, there's something I have to take care of."

"Okay, Commander. But then get some sleep."

"You got it." I would sleep better after this was done. It was time. I had to stop putting it off. Ash had been right, this was too important for Hackett to not know what we were doing, in case we failed. It wasn't likely that one Reaper would try to carry out its directive alone, but look at the damage Sovereign had done by itself. It wasn't worth the risk.

I waved at Traynor on my way past, then moved over to the vid comm and told it to call Hackett. After several rings, I was beginning to hope he wouldn't answer and I'd be able to leave all this in a message. No such luck.

"Shepard, good to hear from you. Have you decided where to take your vacation?"

"About that." I reached back and tried to loosen the muscles in my neck with a couple good rubs. "I'm sorry about not being totally honest with you, Admiral, but that's not what we're doing."

"Well?" he asked after I didn't continue.

"Well, sir, we found evidence of one last Reaper hiding out in deep space. We're headed there now to take care of it."

"What?" he practically yelled.

"Commander, is everything okay back there?" Ash yelled from somewhere.

"Yeah, everything is under control."

"You took a crew of eight people against a Reaper? And two of the crew members aren't fit for combat! I'm being nice not bringing up another two, who wouldn't be much help in combat either if it came down to it."

"I understand how this looks, sir, but please, trust me." I wasn't about to tell him about possibly getting the geth back. He'd automatically assume, correctly, that was the reason I was going after the Reaper. He didn't know about my choice on the Citadel, but he was sharp and would fit all the pieces together.

He took a deep breath. "You don't have anything to prove, Shepard. You've proved more than anyone in history. Please, just come back. I told you we'd get the best working on your problem, and I meant it. Only the best."

He thought this was about my legs. About being paralyzed. Let him. Like I would really put any of the people on this ship in danger just to show I was still whole even though I couldn't walk. "I'm sorry, sir, but nothing is going to change my mind."

"Even you are going to have a hard time with this one, Shepard. Give me a week, I'll have an entire fleet there to travel with you. Every race will want to be represented." I thought of the people, the family, with me and was tempted for a moment. But what were the chances of the Reaper speaking with me if there was an entire fleet involved? No, we would pinpoint its location and come back for the fleet if we needed it.

"I'm sorry, sir. This can't wait."

"Shepard, you are to stand down. That's an order." Hackett was starting to sound a little frantic. He never gave me direct orders, only asked for favors.

"I'm sorry again, sir, but as a Spectre, I have the right to disobey orders. We will be continuing on."

"Shepard, please…" his voice faded, the vid flickering a little. Good. We were almost out of range. "At… send me coordinat… if you fail." Did he really want the Reaper coordinates in case we failed, or because he wanted come after us? Well, the Normandy was the fastest ship in the galaxy and we'd gotten more than a week's head start. Let them come.

"Traynor," I said over the comm.

"Yes?"

"Please send Admiral Hackett the coordinates you got for us, encrypted. Encrypted enough to keep them busy for a few days, but not encrypted enough that they can't crack it eventually."

"Ah, Commander, you are such a tease. And here I thought I was going to get a chance to have some fun."

"Not likely," I muttered to myself. "When does the crew of the Normandy get to have fun?" That wasn't completely true. We did get a chance to have some fun on the Citadel after my clone had plummeted to her death. Especially Liara and me after everyone else had staggered off with hangovers the next morning. Now that beautiful apartment was probably in chunks all over Earth.

Something banged inside the wall next to me. I jerked, spinning my chair in that direction. Another bang. "Joker?" I asked my comm.

"Yeah?"

"What did you hear earlier?"

"I don't' know, some banging."

The noise on the other side of the wall stopped. I hit the end call button, just to make sure it had really hung up, rolled over to the closest maintenance panel and popped it open, craning my neck to get a look inside. Too dark. I flipped the light on my omni-tool on bright and shined it inside. Nothing.

"What's wrong, Shepard?" Liara asked from behind, causing me to bang my head on the top of the opening. Hard.

"Ouch, Liara, don't you know better than to startle a soldier? It isn't safe."

She crossed her arms and started laughing. "Yes, I can see I put myself in great danger."

I growled at her but she just kept laughing.

"What were you doing in there?" she asked, moving forward and leaning around me to look into the depths of the Normandy.

Her wonderful scent, unlike anything I'd ever smelled before, wafted over me, causing me to lose my train of thought. "Huh?"

She looked over at me, her face saying she was getting worried about my sanity. "What were you looking for inside this maintenance panel?" she asked slowly.

"Oh! I, uh, thought I heard something. And Joker heard something earlier today too."

Liara's expression changed instantly from vaguely amused and slightly worried to all business. "What did you hear, Joker?"

"Why do people keep asking me that? If I knew, I'd say, hey, I heard a… whatever, and we wouldn't be having this discussion. Just some weird banging. A weird banging noise. Ugh, that just isn't coming out right."

Liara pulled her pistol from its hidden holster. "I'll check it out." She grabbed onto the lip above the opening and slid in feet first.

"Wait!" I said before she disappeared. She looked back at me, dust smudged on her blue face already and she had just gotten inside. When was the last time someone had cleaned in there? Something to keep in mind.

"What, Shepard?"

"Be careful." She nodded and crawled away, out of sight in an instant. I rolled along the wall, listening for anything, the banging noise or Liara. Kind of hard to tell the difference.

"Is she inside, Shepard?" Traynor asked.

"Yes." I almost plowed into a table trying to follow the scuffling noises Liara was making on the other side of the wall. At least I hoped it was Liara.

"Maybe I should join her, I spent quite a bit of time in there while overseeing the retrofits. It's actually quite a bit larger than you would think, hopefully she doesn't get lost."

"I heard that," Liara's muffled voice came from inside the Normandy.

"Ah, sorry," Traynor said. "Do you want help?'

"I'm fine for now, thanks."

"Just let me know if you change your mind."

It was a few minutes before I heard anything other than Traynor's commentary on the inner workings of the Normandy over the comm. Liara's scuffling stopped and then there was a loud yelp. "Liara?" I asked the wall. "Liara, everything okay?"

"Yes, Shepard," she panted over the omni-tool comm. "I found what's making the noise. Can you open the nearest panel please, and Traynor could you direct me toward it?"

I listened with half an ear as Liara explained to Traynor exactly where she was and Traynor started her toward the closest maintenance hatch. Something hit the hatch on the other side.

"I'm here, Shepard, can you get this thing open?"

"I'm trying," I grouched. The hatch was slightly over my head, making it difficult to reach the latches, but after a moment of fiddling they popped loose and I was able to pull the panel off. A second later a warm female form fell out. It wasn't blue.


	23. Chapter 23

_So… it was a terrible, nasty no good day. But I still got this written, yay, right? One good thing. Hopefully you all enjoy it._

**Liara**

"Tyana?" I heard Shepard say, her tone incredulous. "What are you doing here?

I wiggled my way out of the opening just in time to see Tyana's face drop, her shoulders slumped.

"I just wanted to be with you, Shepard. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen."

Her words made me tempted to get jealous, but one look at Shepard and I changed my mind. Another person disobeying orders. She looked like she could have a hamburger, like the humans say. Wait, was it a hamburger? Something to do with the animal they called a cow. Now I was trying not to laugh. Really, when I thought about it, the fact that we didn't have more stowaways was the shocking part, not that we had one in the first place. All of the crew would have preferred to stay close to Shepard.

I moved my hand to my face, trying to hold in the laughter as Shepard's shocked eyes went from Tyana to me and back to the native girl. Finally she snapped her mouth closed and glared at the girl. Okay, now I felt sorry for her. Being on that end of Shepard's glare was scary, no matter who you were.

"Well we've come too far to turn back now. What have you been eating? And where have you been, you know, going?" Tyana looked confused but started to answer, Shepard cut her off. "Never mind. Just go check in with Chakwas, who knows what diseases are crawling around in all that dust, and you haven't been exposed to the alien ones."

"Yes, Shepard," Tyana whispered and moved toward the door.

"And get some food in you!" Shepard called after her. "She's probably been stealing rations," she muttered.

As soon as she was gone, Shepard sighed, leaned her head forward and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Not exactly who I'd like to have along as an extra, if I'd gotten to choose."

I touched her face, leaving a smear of dirt. Ugh, when was the last time I'd gotten this dirty? I couldn't even remember. "It will be fine, Shepard. It was her choice."

"Tell me that when one of us starves because we don't have enough rations," she grouched. It was her right. She had all of us to worry about, believed herself responsible for all of our safety. And there was no use arguing with her about it, there was no changing her mind.

"Didn't you have Traynor pack enough for an extra?"

"Yes, but it was just a guess in the first place. The extra was in case we needed it."

"And now we do," I said. "We should be stopping to scan a couple planets for what we need to make fuel tomorrow, we can see if there is anything edible there. Just to grab, in case."

"Fine," Shepard grumbled. "But the more often we stop the less of a chance we'll find the Reaper where Sam thought it might be. Even if it was ever there. We might be going on a wild goose chase."

Wild goose chase? That was a new one, I would have to research it later. Apparently it had something to do with not finding what one was looking for. Hopefully. "We've been on wilder goose chases, Shepard. It will be fine." Or so I hoped. If not, this woman would never rest and I would never be able to rest either. Though Tyana being here was an inconvenience, I couldn't blame her for wanting to be near Shepard.

"I'm going down to the med bay," Shepard muttered. "Chakwas might as well start teaching her something, she'll need a job. I don't keep slackers on board the Normandy."

**Shepard**

Tyana was picking things up fast. The last two nights since Liara had found her lurking around on the inside of the Normandy she had come up and told me all the things she'd had to memorize that day, her face glowing. I supposed it wasn't such a bad thing to have a second member of the crew that could do more than slap a medi-gel packet on an injury, and Chakwas did spend way too much time alone, just sitting in the med bay. And least now she had company. Hopefully that company didn't like to eat too much.

The Normandy's fuel level was down to half. Traynor had been keeping an eye out the couple days for a promising looking planet, but it was hard with nothing being discovered this far out. She'd finally come across one, finding it and being able to guess it's size by the amount of gravity it was giving off. We were set to arrive any time.

Much to everyone's unhappy shouting, I'd decided to go down with the squad this time. Garrus was being left behind with the others, just in case. He wasn't very happy about it, but I hadn't left him a choice. If something did happen to us down there, they would need at least one combat ready crew member left. And he was the only one I trusted to keep a cool head if the worst did happen planetside.

Ashley was attempting to maneuver the shuttle. I was beginning to think I should have had Cortez give everyone a quick course on shuttle piloting, but it was too late now. I'd have done it myself, but couldn't use the foot pedals. Stupid chair.

We bumped to a landing and I heard Liara let out a huge exhale. Had she been holding her breath? Ha, wouldn't surprise me, I'd take Garrus driving over Ash any day, and that was saying a lot.

I slipped my helmet on, just in case, right before the ramp went down on the shuttle. Supposedly this planet was bare, and had breathable oxygen. Or so Traynor had thought from the scans she'd run. A sandy, windy planet. I rolled down the ramp and nearly flipped my chair when I hit a deep patch of purplish sand. Had Liara seen that? She didn't say anything, so apparently not. Maybe this wasn't the best planet for me to take charge of the landing party on, but again, too late now.

The chair rolled forward painfully slow until I finally hit rock under the sand. I shot forward, almost dropping the hand scanner I was holding. I glanced back but either Ash and Liara were pretending not to notice my fumbling around or they just weren't paying attention to me.

Supposedly this hand scanner was strong enough to get a reading through the rock, so we would know where to dig with the modified shuttle. Tali could have made more changes to the shuttle so we didn't have to get off to do this, but it would have meant more time on Omega. Time we didn't have.

I swung the scanner back on forth, waiting for it to beep. Liara had another scanner, Ash stood guard. The wind was crazy here, puffing light amounts of sand into the air one moment, nearly blasting us with sand the next.

"Shepard, you need to see this," Liara said a couple minutes later. I headed her way and stopped beside her. She bumped something with her toe, knocking sand away from it. A geth.

"What in the world is that thing doing way out here?" Ashley said from over my shoulder.

"Well they aren't like organics, they don't need to eat or drink, so distance is all relative to them. Maybe it was searching for another planet for the geth to inhabit, I have heard rumors of geth search parties seen in all kinds of remote places and the consensus is that they wish to expand, possibly leave Rannoch to the quarians," my Shadow Broker said.

I bent over in my chair and tugged on its leg. It was too deep in the sand, I couldn't pull it free alone. "Help me get it loose."

"Why, what are we going to do with it?" Ashley asked. She sounded almost angry. Sometimes she seemed to be over how she had felt about the geth before, but right now she just sounded hateful as she had been back after Eden Prime.

"We're taking it with us. We can't just leave it here. If we bring it back to life, it will be trapped here, helpless."

"I thought we had better things to do."

I glared at Willams, putting all the considerable amount of anger I could conjure up into the glare. She shrunk away a little.

"Fine. What do you want me to do with it?"

"Drag it to the shuttle. We'll take it with us." I hated talking about it like an it, but were there male and female geth? Legion had sounded male. In fact, all the geth voices I'd ever heard were male. We'd be calling it a him then. "He's pretty badly damaged. We'll see what we can do for him once we get the rest of the geth back online."

Ash grunted through her helmet, but she did as I'd asked, tugging on his arm until he shifted free, sending more violet sand into the air. She headed for the shuttle and was back a moment later, arms crossed and leaning against the hull.

We didn't find the fuel components where we'd thought they would be. Ash must not have landed us exactly on target. Liara and I passed each other in ever widening circles until the wheel of my chair caught on something. I bent over and brushed at the sand, revealing a piece of another geth. I uncovered enough of it to see that the metal was grooved and the wiring nearly gone. Had the sand done this?

Liara came over to stand beside me. "There's another over there, too." She pointed to where she'd been running her scanner. "I'm beginning to think there is more life on this planet than Specialist Traynor believed there to be. I can think of no reason for three geth to be in this state of disrepair without something else being involved."

"They couldn't look like this after being in the sand since the beam went out?" Ash asked from over by the shuttle. Her voice came through the speaker in my helmet clearly, even over the howling of the wind. I turned down the external speaker a little.

"I don't believe there would be this much damage in just over two weeks," Liara answered.

"Right," Ash said and hoisted her gun into firing position. "Whatta think about us finding that junk to make some fuel and getting out of here?"

"That would probably be wise," Liara said, kicking the latest geth with her toe.

"Ash, throw these two in with the other one. We'll keep looking."

Ashley grumbled something under her breath but bent down to get a grip on the geth. I moved off, running the scanner at double speed. Something was making me edgy here, and I didn't like it.

A loud beep sounded to my right. "I found the spot, Shepard," Liara called.

"Good, let's get that stuff and get out of here."

A second later the newly installed drill on the shuttle dropped down, Ashley at the controls. I blinked rapidly on instinct when the drill caused a tornado of sand to swirl around even though my eyes were safely shielded behind the visor of my helmet.

The drilling and then even the collecting of the fuel components went by quickly. The shuttle computer announced it was at ninety-eight percent when a loud gasp made me look over at Liara. She had her feet braced, alarm on her face.

"Did you feel that?"

"Feel what?" I asked.

"The ground just shifted."

I must not have been able to feel it. Curse this chair, I had been starting to think that I was fine even in it when things kept popping up. "Ashley, disengage. Just leave the last of it, we need to get out of here."

The drill started up. I moved forward to look down the hole and monitor its progress. The sight below snapped me straight into combat mode. "Williams, T'Soni, incoming!" I smashed the back control on my chair all the way down, hurtling backward without looking where I was going and instinctively jerking my pistol from its holster, letting the scanner fall into my lap.

A high pitched shrieking made it through the speakers in my helmet. Not good. Not good at all. The first little creature popped out of the hole, its beady eyes focusing on Liara instantly. It bared its little fangs and rushed her. I dropped it with one shot. Two more nearly fell over each other coming out of the hole, but paused at the sight of their dead comrade. I got my first good look at the little buggers. A mix between a badger and a ferret? A mink and wolverine? Except with scales instead of fur. Adapted to life on a sandy planet.

"What are those things?" Ash yelled.

"They are inconsistent with any life form that I know of," Liara answered.

Great. We'd discovered a new species.

The two little monsters were pushed forward by a wave of creatures from behind them. The first row all stopped, their eyes fixed on the dead creature lying on the sand. The shrieking stopped too. Somehow I got the feeling these things weren't used to losing. Was this little creature the top of the food chain on this planet? Obviously alone they were nothing. Liara could probably take out all of the hundred in front of us with one biotic blast. But I'd seen down that hole. A hundred dead wouldn't even be noticed.

_Well, there it is. I don't usually like to leave cliffhangers, but I've been up since 3 a.m. and I'm getting tired. I wanted to keep up my posting streak. Please review if you are enjoying the story! Thanks for reading!_


	24. Chapter 24

_Sorry about how long it's been since the last update, I thought I'd have extra time this weekend, but it turns out it being a holiday made it impossible instead of better. Question for anyone that writes, what's your average word count per chapter? I'm still having a hard time finding that balance. Thanks and hope you enjoy! _

**Liara**

"Back up slowly," Shepard said, her voice so low I could barely hear her. "Let's get on the shuttle and get out of here."

I didn't move. Not until she made it at least as far as Ashley and me. She started back, but as soon as her chair made its little whiring noise, all those hundreds of beady eyes suddenly moved to follow her. I let my biotics flare around my hands, ready to send a blast in that direction. I was not liking the looks those creatures were giving Shepard. Hungry. The chair inched backward a short distance, then stopped in the soft sand, wheels spinning and sending a spray at the creatures.

In a wave, they sat up on their haunches, little noses wriggling like they were trying to catch a scent. "Shepard, come on," I whispered. There was no way I was going to let those things hurt her, but moving forward could possibly set them off. She hit the button again, but her chair didn't move. Then the chittering started back up.

As if all controlled by one mind, the creatures flowed toward Shepard en masse. "You get Shepard," I yelled to Williams, jumping forward. "Leave the chair if you have to." I threw a barrier up around Shepard and sent a warp into the middle of the rodents. They screeched and flew, raining on the uninjured creatures below them but were instantly replaced, more flowing out of the hole in the ground like water over a cliff.

I couldn't risk turning to see if Williams had been able to pull Shepard free or not yet. I sent another blast, but they were getting dangerously close. It was taking to long for my biotics to recharge, the creatures re-filled their ranks too quickly. Sand spit up just in front of me where the first of the creatures was arriving, filling the air with violet grit. I couldn't hear the sound of William's assault rifle over the crazy noise of this hoard, but the first row of creatures went down in a spray of bullets. Hopefully that meant she had Shepard back to the shuttle.

I threw a barrier up around me, giving myself a second to breathe. The animals slammed against it, hitting it over and over, a couple killing themselves. The barrier was holding fine. I looked back toward Shepard to see how her barrier was doing and nearly cursed. Not only had Williams not gotten Shepard to the shuttle yet, but the animals had burst from another hole and were swarming Shepard from the side. Red hot fury like I'd never felt before filled every cell in my body. We were not going to survive a Reaper invasion and get killed by rats. I'd promised myself I was never going to lose Shepard again and I always kept my promises.

The barrier fizzled out and I took off for Shepard, blasting everything in the way with my biotics.

"Shepard to Normandy," Shepard's voice over the comm.

"What's taking you so long down there?" Joker asked.

"Ran into a bit of a problem." Shepard grunted as she swung her rifle, sending a rodent flying. "Can you see the hole we drilled? Is it far enough away from the shuttle for you to blast it?"

"Give me a second," Traynor said. It definitely felt like more than a second. I had enough time to get to Shepard, turn and fling up a better barrier before she answered. "Negative, the shuttle will be damaged if we try. What's going on down there? Did something attack? I'm still not seeing any heat readings."

"These things must be reptiles," Shepard grunted, trying to manually push her chair backward with her hands on the wheels.

"Just leave the chair," I said, panting a little. This fighting without cover was terrible, even if the enemies didn't have anything to shoot at us. How much longer could I hold up a barrier for three at the same time?

"I'm not leaving without this chair," Shepard said, her voice that terrible steady tone that told me arguing wouldn't do a thing to help. "We can't go back and get another and I won't be stuck in a bed in the med-bay."

"You'd rather we all die?"

As if to make my point, an especially large creature hit the barrier, causing it to shimmer. It held, but barely. Shepard didn't answer, just let off a couple shots into the throng.

"You're so stubborn!" I yelled. I turned toward the shuttle and let out an huge, angry warp, blasting a path through the sand to the shuttle. It dissipated a short distance from the ramp.

I looked over at Ashley, her eyes were huge through her visor.

"What?"

She shrugged and sent a spray of bullets through the barrier, reached over and jerked on Shepard's chair. It was hard going for a few steps, then once it reached the path I'd blasted down to firmer sand it got easier. Ashley let go to take a couple shots and Shepard stopped moving.

"What's wrong?" I heard Ashley ask.

"The motor must have burned up while I was stuck," Shepard's voice was so monotone. This was not good. If we made it back to the Normandy, she was going to open up about this or she was going to make herself sick.

"That's ok, I got it," Ashley said, handed Shepard her rifle and started pulling Shepard back toward the shuttle.

I felt the barrier flicker again. There were just too many. A barrier could hold up against a rain of bullets for some time, but there were just too many of these things. They had started to climb on top of each other, the barrier acting as a wall so that the bottom ones could be used as steps. Some of the creatures were as high as my waist now. I sent a warp through the barrier, blasting a hole through their line, but it was instantly filled. My body was starting to tremble under the strain of trying to use my biotics defensively and offensively at the same time.

"Liara, come on!" Ashley screamed from behind me. A quick glance showed that she had Shepard halfway up the ramp. I sprinted toward the shuttle, letting the barrier drop, needing the extra energy or I would collapse. The ramp went up a little, maybe a foot or. My sluggish mind barely registered that Ashley was trying to get it high enough that the creatures would find it difficult to get inside.

My breath came in gasps, my lungs burning as I poured what little reserve I had left into running. Something crashed into my heel, nearly sending me tumbling into the dust. It was only a second before I regained my balance, but a second was too long. They were biting at my heels, jumping into the back of my calves. Shepard's rifle barked and one of the things fell from my thigh.

I finally reached the ramp and fell onto it. Strong hands gripped me under my arms and pulled me onto the shuttle. I kept it together long enough to make sure Shepard looked ok and to feel the pull of gravity as Ashley took the shuttle up too fast, then I blacked out.


	25. Chapter 25

_Yay for chapter 25! Though I don't really like it that much. Updates are going to be getting longer and longer in between, spring is a terribly busy time for me and I haven't felt the urge to stay up til 2 a.m. writing this last week lol. I don't have any great ideas for how to fill in the space time from this chapter until the next big plot item, so if anyone has any ideas they would be appreciated. Or maybe I'll just skip ahead, I don't know. Anyway, hope you all enjoy. **Edit: Ignore the part about where I said I don't know where to go next, I figured it out last night while I was trying to go to sleep lol. Ideas are still always welcome.**  
_

**Shepard**

Liara fell to the floor with a crash. "Liara!" I shouted, barely able to hear my own voice, the ramp wasn't all the way up yet, the wind from us taking off whipping through the shuttle like a tornado. I mashed the control down on the chair. The motor whined and made a grinding noise, only moving me forward a few inches.

Movement caught my attention. One of those little monsters still clung to Liara's boot. I pulled my pistol and shot it.

"Shepard! Not in here!" Ashley screamed from the cockpit. My ears popped at the level of her voice, the ramp clicked into place and everything went deathly silent. I pushed the control down as far as it would go again and the chair finally rolled forward, clunking as it went. There was probably sand in every gear in the whole pitiful thing.

Finally I made it over to Liara. I maneuvered myself to the floor beside her and tugged and pulled until I had her shoulders and head in my lap. "Liara?" I whispered, and cupped her face in my hand. She didn't stir.

"She'll be okay, Shepard," Ashley said from the front. "She probably just overused her biotics. Jack did it once, remember?" My head knew she was right but my heart went to worst case scenario. Did those little creatures have a poison of some kind? Did she collapse for a totally unrelated reason?"

"Just get us to the Normandy," I growled.

I didn't hear her answer as I brushed my fingers across Liara's slightly rough cheek. The trip to the Normandy took an eternity. A quick scan with my omni-tool showed nothing wrong, but it didn't help my worry much. I whispered little things to her, nothing that made sense, but it made me feel a little better. Maybe she could hear my voice. I hadn't been this scared since she went down on that last push to the beam.

"Commander?" Chakwas, in my ear.

"Yes?"

"How is she?"

I forwarded her body scan to Chakwas without answering. She was silent for a moment, no doubt reviewing the scan.

"This looks fairly normal, Commander. Heart rate is slightly elevated for an asari, but not enough to be worried about."

"Just be waiting in the shuttle bay."

"Yes, Commander."

Chakwas was the best or she wouldn't be with us right now, but that didn't make me feel better. What if my stupid pride cost me this amazing being? I pulled her farther into my lap, grunting with the strain of her dead weight.

The familiar gravity shift of the Normandy swooping down to snap up the shuttle made me tear up in relief. At least when we'd been hit at the beam I could see Liara's injuries, know what was going on.

The shuttle set down, and instantly the ramp started to open. Ash was back to help me right away, and only a second later Garrus and Tali were on board.

"What happened?"

"Will she be okay?"

"Move, let us through." The last one was Chakwas. A half sob escaped at the sound of her voice. "Anything new I should know about?"

"No, she just collapsed in the shuttle. I can't find anything wrong."

Chakwas leaned over Liara, nodded once and then pulled her off me. I shivered at the wave of cold without the heat of Liara's body.

"Tyana girl, you help Shepard. Ashley, Garrus, help me get Liara to the med bay."

"No," I said. "I'm fine. Just help Liara."

Chakwas looked down at me. "I'm sure she's fine, Commander, just exhausted from overusing her biotics. The scan you sent me and the one I just took are both clear, I don't believe we have anything to worry about. She will need something to eat when she wakes and will probably be dehydrated, but she will be fine."

I dropped my face in my hands. A part of me had known that the whole time, but it was so much better hearing it from Karin. "Thank you," I mumbled through my fingers.

She patted me on the shoulder, then went to help Garrus and Ash get Liara onto the small portable cot from the med bay.

"Don't just stand there," I told Tyana. "Help me get into my chair, I need to get up to the med bay with her."

**Liara**

Arguing pulled me from a deep sleep. Instantly I wished I could go straight back. I was so stiff, so sore. And tired beyond what I would have thought possible. Never mind that, when I had lost Shepard I'd gone days without sleeping, this wasn't even close to that.

The arguing got louder, but my fuzzy mind wasn't catching the words. Then Shepard shushed whoever it was. I knew it was Shepard, making my heart jump a little that she was nearby. It was always like that. Then I remembered her stubbornness down on that unnamed planet and the feeling faded.

I opened my eyes and glanced around the room. Shepard was in the bed next to me, but her attention was on Tali and Garrus, who had her chair in pieces scattered all over the floor.

"Is this the best you humans have?" Garrus grumbled from his spot on the floor.

"We had better systems like this back when we still lived on Rannoch," Tali added.

"The human race is farther behind than I thought if this is what their heroes have to put up with."

"Vega did the best he could," Williams defended. I hadn't noticed her leaning against the wall until she spoke. "It isn't like we have a bunch of spares after the Reapers attacking Earth for so long."

"And Shepard was too stubborn to let anyone know she was alive, so Vega couldn't get one befitting a hero," I added quietly.

"Liara!" Shepard swung her upper body so she could see me. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, Shepard." I didn't meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Liara," Williams said, making her way over to the bed. "She wouldn't let me move her chair until you were within a safe distance of the shuttle."

I sighed and swiped at my eyes, hoping they would think it was because I was trying to get some of the sand out of them and not because I was crying. Did this really have to happen every time I thought about Shepard dying, even though I had her back? "It's fine. It's Shepard. I understand."

"Hey, I'm right here, you know."

"Yes, I know," I said, trying to hide the note of irritation in my voice. If she had just let us pull her out of that stupid chair, I might not feel like this right now. I looked over at her. Exhaustion lined her face, like she felt as bad as I did. And her eyes, so worried. I sighed again, unable to stay angry. I had known what I was getting into when I let myself grow the feelings for her that had kept me flying around the galaxy on crazy missions for the last few years. She had a right to not want to lose that chair, we should have thought to bring a spare.

Feelings of relief and joy practically radiated off Shepard, making me feel a little better. She must have felt my mood lighten and realized I wasn't able to stay unhappy with her. Unless she died again, then we would have a serious problem.

"Please, Shepard, don't make me worry about you like that again.

Shepard's smile slipped off her face. "It's not like you didn't just worry me for the last hour or anything. But you won't have to think about it anymore. I won't be going on any more ground trips. I can't put the others that go in danger." I teared up again, this time it was harder to hide. That admission had to have cost her.

Garrus and Tali exchanged looks and I didn't know what to say.

"That's probably wise, Skipper," Ashley said. "Part of being a good leader is knowing when to make a decision that goes against the grain. My grandfather knew that, and look what it got him. But also look at the lives he saved."

Though I didn't understand what grain had to do with this situation, William's words did seem to have the desired effect on Shepard. She loosened up a bit, thought about it for a second, then nodded.

"At least you brought back enough supplies to keep the Normandy flying for a week or so." Garrus stood and stretched. Shepard glared. He rolled his eyes and sat back down, grabbing a rag and wiping purple sand off a component of the chair.

The med bay door swished open and the doctor walked into the room. Her eyes caught mine. "What, I'm gone five minutes to get something for my patient to eat and she wakes up?" She looked down at Garrus and Tali. "And my med bay is being contaminated with debris from an unknown planet, with unknown germs and illnesses?"

Tali stood and wiped her gloved hands on her suit. "Sorry, Doctor."

"It's my fault," Shepard said from her bed. "I needed to stay with Liara, but I wanted to make sure they got this thing working. Sorry, Doc."

The doctor instantly calmed. Another person who couldn't stay upset with Shepard. Actually, the only time she even got close was when Shepard was wounded and didn't want to follow her orders. "Just make sure you use the decon spray when you clean that mess up," she told Garrus and Tali, who nodded comically strongly. She walked over to my bed and sat a tray of food in my lap. Just the normal dehydrated food, but she had picked my favorites. Or, at the least the ones I disliked the least.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome. Eat it all, then rest."

I nodded and started in on the tray, even though I didn't think I'd be able to eat all of this. I was only halfway done before I started to get drowsy again. Tali and Garrus arguing about the stupid chair started to fade out. My eyes closed and I almost nodded off. I jerked awake, telling myself to keep it together.

"Go ahead, Liara, get some sleep," Shepard said from her bed. She was watching me, intently. "It's not like there is anything that needs done right now anyway. Please rest."

"Okay," I mumbled. "Goodnight." Ashley came forward and took the tray from me, just as it was about to tip off the bed. Rest. Yes, hopefully rest would fix this.


End file.
